


Soul-Struck

by hinata_short_yo



Category: Assassination Classroom
Genre: Alternate Universe - Soulmates, Angst and Romance, Angst with a Happy Ending, Eventual Romance, Fluff and Angst, I haven't updated this in a long ass time, It Gets Worse Before It Gets Better, Love Confessions, M/M, Nagisa my Poor Baby, Oblivious, On Hiatus, Pain, Self-Harm, Soulmate-Identifying Marks, Soulmates, Unrequited Love, Until Finals are over, Well they think it's unrequited, Which is like in a week, bear with me, just kidding, trigger warning, withdrawals
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-11-25
Updated: 2018-05-01
Packaged: 2019-01-30 16:58:09
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 6
Words: 20,554
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12657660
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/hinata_short_yo/pseuds/hinata_short_yo
Summary: The last thing Karma Akabane wanted was a soulmate. He was perfectly content with his life until the appearance of a sky blue soulmate band makes it all come crashing down. So he has a soulmate. Is it bad he doesn't know who it is?





	1. What About Now?

**Author's Note:**

> This chapter is dedicated to my very awesome beta for managing to edit my work without dying from the cringe :)

The last thing Karma Akabane wanted was a soulmate. The idea of having someone sharing your pain and giving you their pain sounded like a pain in the ass. Which is exactly why he was perfectly fine with his life, until he saw a blue mark engraved into his skin on his upper arm. It wrapped around the whole width of his arm, like a permanent bracelet. It didn’t help that he discovered this in the middle of a street fight either. He was simply on his way to school when his ‘best friends’ from class C decided to pick a fight with him. He was casually throwing punches when the shade of blue entered his vision. Safe to say that he stopped midway of a punch, allowing his opponent to grab his fist and twist it instead. Still in shock, he continued the rest of the fight somehow managing knocking the rest of them out while simultaneously muttering curse words under his breath..

“What the hell?” He shouted, trying to scratch off the mark embedded in his skin. “The hell is this?”

The guy he had just pummelled to the ground sat up groaning. “Isn’t that a soulmark?”

A soulmark? No way in hell. Karma turned, glaring at the male on the ground. “You wanna go to sleep forever? I can help you with that.”

 

Karma slung his bag over his shoulder, continuing his walk to school. From his knowledge, soulmate marks showed during the ages of 13-17. You either had one or didn’t. If you didn’t, great. You could continue on with your life. If you did, however, it would be anything but easy. It would be a day or two of nightmares, sharing your emotions with your soulmate. Your skin would start to sting, almost as if your skin was being synchronized to match one another. Anything imprinted on your skin would show on the other’s. The further you are away from your soulmate, the more painful, and the longer the process. It didn’t matter the distance between the mates, what mattered was how far they were away from your heart. Blocking them out, or denying them would cause withdrawals. As if that wasn’t enough, you had to grow closer with your soulmate, with all the mushy trust and faith and whatnot. Basically in short, everything Karma despised. If you didn’t, the withdrawals were unpredictable. Constant pain, depression, anxiety, recurring nightmares, anything. Karma clenched his teeth. Today was going to be great. Absolutely, positively great.

 

Karma slid the classroom door open, dragging his feet to his desk and slamming his bag onto the desk, the thud resonating through the classroom.

“Well well, how very nice of you to join us Karma-kun,” Koro-sensei announced to the class.

“Shut up...stupid octopus.” Karma answered, burying his face in his arms. He really didn’t care about anything anymore. He just wanted to get rid of this stupid soulmate mark. He’d lived perfectly fine without them and he’d continue to live perfectly fine. Besides, there was no girl he could think of that he actually held any value for. Sure, there were girls in his class, but he cared about them as classmates, not romantically or anything more.

 

Sometime in the middle of class, Karma actually lifted his head and observed his classmates. He knew that some people in his class had the soulmate mark, like Hayami and Chiba, but they never openly displayed their affection or anything. They were kind of cool in their own way. He respected them, but he remembered when Hayami had gotten hurt on a mission. That had impacted Chiba and he was then unable to perform his position as sniper properly. He remembered feeling sorry for them, to have the soulmate bond holding them back. He heard that the soulmate bond was a powerful one, an advantage, but it was only useful if you mastered it. He remembered hearing about the assassin duo Karasuma-sensei had been talking about with Koro-sensei. They were soulmates who had almost nearly mastered their bond, and so they were capable of healing each other, communicating through their minds, making their compatibility and their trust almost perfect. Their only weakness was their skill. Coming back to his senses, his eyes drifted to a certain bluenette, as they did every day.

 

Nagisa had his head buried in his arms, much like Karma. His eyebrows were furrowed, his expression of one in pain. He wanted to call out to him, but he could tell Nagisa didn’t want anyone to see him like that based on the way he was covering his expression. He assumed that it was something Nagisa’s mother had done, another punishment. Nothing Karma liked of course, but he’d treat it for Nagisa like he always did nonetheless. He’d find out what was causing Nagisa pain soon enough.

 

As soon as the bell rang, Karma got up, approaching Nagisa’s hunched over figure. He took him by the hand.

“Let’s go.” He whispered, already walking while pulling the bluenette along with him.

“No, Karma…” He saw Nagisa’s expression scrunch up in pain again. “It’s nothing you can fix.”

Karma raised an eyebrow. “There’s clearly something wrong with you. Even if I can’t fix it, you’re coming with me.”

Nagisa released a sigh, clearly not having the energy to argue back. He followed after Karma, his knees buckling along the way, forcing him to lean onto Karma for support.

 

“Karma…I…don’t need you to-…” Nagisa whispered, his energy fading. He could barely talk. The pain was unbearable.

Karma was struggling with the sight in front of him. Nagisa looked like he was under excruciating pain. There were clearly no major injuries as Nagisa had showed him, but what pain was he under that the bluenette was on the verge of tears? “Nagisa, I’m going to call Koro-sensei. You look like you’re about to collapse.” Nagisa held him back.

“Don’t! I…just left my medication at home…P-Please…just let me go h-home…”

“Medication?” Karma asked. He wasn’t aware Nagisa was under any kind of medication, moreover for something this painful.

“Y-yeah..” Nagisa murmured, his voice cracking. He couldn’t explain the pain. It was everywhere… He felt like he was going to collapse any second. And he did.

 

“Ah…shit.” Karma panicked when Nagisa fainted. He caught him and picked him up, slightly bothered by how light the boy was. He carried Nagisa home, worried by the fever he was sporting. He rang the doorbell, but no one came to the door. He let out a sigh of relief. At least his sick excuse of a mother wasn’t home. He  leaned against the door for support and slipped a hand into Nagisa’s pocket for his key. He opened the door easily, already used to the layout of his house from the countless visits. He lay Nagisa down in his room and placed a wet towel on his forehead. It wasn’t until he had sat down and began resting when he heard the front door unlock.

“Nagisa darling, I’m home!”

 

Chills ran up Karma’s spine. He put on his most convincing smile and greeted Nagisa’s mother.

“Nagisa was feeling unwell, so I was helping h-“ He bit his tongue before he could say ‘him’. Nagisa’s mother would be furious, and that certainly wasn’t what he wanted right now. “I was helping her run down her fever.” He let out a sigh of relief as she smiled.

“Why thank you Akabane-kun. I’m happy my daughter has such a wonderful friend.”

Karma bowed. “Now that you’re here I’ll take my leave.”

“Oh what a shame, you can stay for dinner if you want. Though I doubt my daughter will be waking up soon.”

Karma ignored her persistence and began heading out the door. “Oh, Mrs Shiota, Nagisa was feeling very unwell this afternoon. He was in so much pain that he got a fever. I suggest you take him to the doctor if the pain returns.” He didn’t wait for her reply before closing the door behind him.

 

Nagisa awoke with a start. The pain had subsided when he had collapsed, and he remembered feeling warm and happy as he slept. Now that he was awake, he could feel the memory of the pain again. He knew exactly the source of the pain, but he wondered why it was causing him such this much suffering. He lifted the sleeves of his shirt to reveal a red band engraved into his upper arm. “Who are you?”

 

Karma fiddled with a knife as he stared at the blue band on his arm. He had found out that there was one way to break a soul bond, and it was by the death of the other. He wasn’t going to kill them, but he had to do something about the blue band on his arm. It was driving him insane. He could feel the withdrawals beginning too. Lucky for him his withdrawal symptoms weren’t pain, more like slight anxiety. He was starting to worry about things he never worried about. Right now, he was worrying about his soul mate. He needed to know who they were, and get the whole thing over with. He wondered if their skin had synchronised yet. That was their only way of contact right now. He grabbed a marker and began writing on his arm.

 _‘Who are you?’_ He watched as the writing on his hand remained there, just like it always did. Suddenly he felt stupid. “Tch, what am I even doing?”

 

He had barely spoken the words when he felt an excruciating pain spread through his arm. He screamed, his voice echoing around his house. He had never been more thankful that he lived alone, because _holy shit_ it hurt like hell. The pain seemed to last at least a minute before it left with a prickling sensation. He looked at his arm, the words he had just written had disappeared. What did that mean? Did it get through to his mate? Or had they just been synchronised? Karma ruffled his hair in frustration.

 

Nagisa was gasping for air, he couldn’t breathe. He was grasping for anything to hold him, but it was like the life was being sucked out of him. He could feel something on his arms, but he couldn’t move. He was being choked by the second. He struggled, calling for his mother: something he never did. She couldn’t hear him though, his voice never left his throat. Just before he felt his consciousness slip away, he felt the air return to his lungs. He gasped in desperation, swallowing the oxygen. He sat up, staring at his arm. He could see a fading mark on his hand, but it was barely legible.

‘Who are you?’

 

Nagisa’s eyes widened. It was his soulmate. He had totally forgotten about soulmates communicating through their skin. Then….the lack of oxygen was their skin being synchronised? He hadn’t learnt much about it, but his mother had wanted him to be ready in case he ever got a soulmate, and had taught him the basics. He grabbed a pen, quickly scribbling on his hand. He didn’t want this. He didn’t want this pain, the suffering. He wasn’t in love with any girl. He didn’t feel any attraction to any girls he knew..which meant this was a person he didn’t even know. He didn’t want this.

_‘Help me. This hurts too much…I don’t want it.’_

 

Karma woke up in the morning, stripping his clothes to take a shower. He caught a glimpse of blue on his hand. It seemed that his soulmate had replied.

‘Help me. This hurts too much…I don’t want it.’

Karma read the message over and over again. He didn’t even know what to feel. He was happy his soulmate didn’t want this either, but there was no way to cancel a bond except if someone died. He wasn’t planning on dying anytime soon either. He washed the ink off his arm, drying off his body and grabbing a pen.

 

_‘Me neither, but unless you plan on dying we’ve got to do something. My withdrawals have started. They aren’t serious yet, but I don’t want them to get serious. They probably haven’t been so bad for me since I haven’t openly stated that I didn’t accept you, but I guess you must be so against this idea that your withdrawals are much worse.’_

 

It looked like he had written an essay on his hand, so he hoped his ‘friend’ would read it quickly and wash it off. To his surprise, a reply came immediately.

_‘Can we do this over the phone? My number is XXX XXX XXXX.’_

 

Karma typed the digits into his phone, saving it. He began walking to school, holding the phone in his hand as he walked. He messaged the number with a simple question that thad been bugging him.

K:“What type of withdrawals are you having?” He waited for a reply, and saw them typing.

Unknown: “Excruciating pain. Everywhere.”

K:“Oh…that must be nice.”

Unknown: “It’s not nice at all!”

K:“Anyway, who are you?”

Unknown: “I don’t want to tell you.”

K:“The heck?”

Unknown: “I’ll tell you when I feel comfortable.”

K:”Well…at least give me something to call you by…”

Unknown: “Okay, how about blueberry?”

K: Is blue like your signature colour or something? My band is blue, and whenever you write on your arm it’s blue.

Blueberry: I guess?

K: Fine, you can call me strawberry then if that’s what we’re going by.

Blueberry: Strawberry? It doesn’t suit you at all…

K: Red? Isn’t my band red? My writing should be red too… Goddamnit it better be red.

Blueberry: Calm down strawberry, it is red. It’s just strawberries are sweet…you seem like the opposite.

K: You know I can be sweet if I want to right?

Blueberry: Wait…are you a male? or female?

K: I’m a male, shouldn’t it be obvious? If you’re a girl, I have to be a guy right? Gosh, obvious much?

Blueberry: Um...class is starting I have to go now.

K: alright then, bye.

 

Karma shut his phone and put it back into his bag. He looked over at the seat next to him where the bluenette usually was, but he wasn’t there yet. Weird. Was he still sick from the day before? Karma would have to go make a visit if not. Almost as if on cue, the classroom door slid open and Nagisa made his way in. Karma immediately got up and approached him. “Nagisa, are you alright?”

The bluenette merely nodded and leaned on him, his face not in its usual smile.

“What’s wrong?” Karma asked, clearly concerned. He wasn’t one for being caring, but with Nagisa it was a different story.

“Karma…why couldn’t I just be born a girl?”

Karma stared at him. “And why would you think that?”

Nagisa didn’t answer, hiding his face further in Karma’s shoulder.

“Nagisa, you are not a girl, and everyone knows that. Whatever your mother said, it’s only her.”

Nagisa looked back at him with dead eyes, like they had already given up. “It wasn’t her this time.”

“The who the hell was it?” Karma was confused, everyone knew Nagisa. It wasn’t hard to tell he was a boy in this state, he was wearing the boy’s school uniform, his hair was tied up, and he spoke like a normal boy. How could anyone mistake him for a girl?

“I don’t even know who he is.” Nagisa murmured, lifting his face off Karma’s shoulder. “I should probably get to my seat.”

 

Besides Nagisa’s depressed state, Karma was increasingly happy, seeing that his anxiety had mostly disappeared. Talking to his soulmate was probably the right move, seeing that his withdrawals were going away. Contrary to his improved state, he could see depression written all over Nagisa’s face. It was seeping off him, his eyes almost as if he wasn’t alive. It was so frustrating. Nagisa was the one with all the smiles, he didn’t know why he wasn’t smiling, and he didn’t know how to make him smile.

 

K: Hey, I’ve got a question.

Blueberry: I’m in the middle of class. Don’t text me.

K: Me too, but that isn’t stopping me.

Blueberry: What is it?

K: How do you make someone smile?

Blueberry: Don’t ask me. I’m anything but smiles now. So just leave me alone.

K: Sheesh, moody much?

Blueberry: Just shut up. You don’t know anything about me.

K: No need to get so defensive, I was just kidding

K: But sorry.

 

Karma sighed, putting his phone away. Well...turns out his soulmate was very sensitive. He turned to the depressed bluenette to see him staring at his phone. That was weird. Nagisa never used his phone in class. Karma turned his attention back to the teacher in front of the class. He already knew all this stuff, why’d he even bother studying? He continued observing the bluenette, seeing his change in expressions. One second he was writhing in pain, and the next he was pulling the hair off his head. It was almost like he was going mad.

 

Nagisa wanted to cry. He was already mad that his soulmate thought he was a girl, and then continue on to say he was moody? He wanted to punch whoever his soulmate was. If only his soulmate knew what Nagisa felt, he would never say those words. It wasn’t that Nagisa had anything against girls, it was simply that he wasn’t one, and his upbringing had always made him view himself as a girl. It was a touchy subject for him, not that his soulmate would know…how could he?

 

Nagisa hadn’t told anyone about him finding a soulmate. No one had figured it out either. He wanted to keep it that way. He wanted nothing to do with his soulmate, though he knew it was quite impossible. Perhaps he could cheat by just texting them once a week? He felt his head throb at just the thought. He didn’t understand why people wanted soulmates. It was so…painful…so heart-wrenching. Or was it just him? He was famous for being bad luck after all. Nagisa glanced at Karma, who so happened to be staring at him. Nagisa smiled weakly, in return to which Karma frowned. He turned and began typing on his phone. Nagisa received a message.

‘Let’s ditch school today.’

 

“I didn’t think you’d actually say yes,” Karma whispered as they sneaked out of school. Their only obstacle was Karasuma, since Koro-sensei had permitted their sneaking out of school the moment they had left the classroom, saying ‘the youth will grow by misbehaving.’

“I didn’t think I’d say yes.” Nagisa replied flatly as they sprinted down the corridor.

“What happened? Are you terminally ill or something?” Karma said as they skidded down the mountain. He looked to the bluenette for a reply, but he remained silent.

“Nagisa.” He said his name firmly. If Nagisa wasn’t going to spill the info himself, Karma would have to force it out of him. Nagisa looked at him, still remaining silent. Karma stopped walking and pulled the bluenette into his embrace. He wasn’t one for hugs, but maybe he could make an exception for Nagisa. “Fine, don’t tell me what’s wrong. But at least tell me if you’re going to be okay.” He watched as Nagisa averted his gaze, avoiding making eye contact. He tilted the bluenette’s head to face him. “Are you going to be okay?”

Nagisa nodded softly and continued to walk. Karma followed.

 

They went to a cafe and ordered some drinks. Karma could tell Nagisa was starting to feel better when he started laughing at Karma’s jokes and smiling. He felt strangely satisfied, a feeling of…happiness? _Well, that was to be expected_ he thought, as Nagisa was his best friend. _You’re supposed to care about your best friends, so this was normal…_

“Karma?” Nagisa’s voice echoed through his head, oh man, he liked Nagisa’s voice, it was like a lullaby sometimes, you’d have to listen to it to understand.

“Karma?” His voice echoed again, snapping Karma out of his senses.

“Y-Yeah?”

“Thank you for taking me out today. I felt really bad, but after hanging out with you I feel much better.

Karma’s heart skipped a beat. What the heck? This was weird. He was feeling all fluttery in his insides. He felt the urge to…

He pulled his palm back and slapped it hard against his cheeks, the sound echoing through the room.

“Karma?! What’s the heck?” Nagisa’s voice was laced with worry as he reached across to the redhead caressing his cheek.

Karma relished in the stinging sensation on his cheek where he had slapped himself. What had he just thought? Did he want to kiss Nagisa? No. It was just a misunderstanding. Just a spur of the moment kind of thing. He watched as the bluenette caressed his cheek, softly stroking it. It felt nice, Nagisa’s soft hands on his…No no no no, it was coming again.

“Nagisa, I need to go to the bathroom for a minute I’ll be right back.” He pulled away from the bluenette and sprinted to the bathroom, locking the door behind him.

Nagisa stood there dumbstruck. He had just thanked Karma and Karma had slapped himself. Rather hard too. He remembered the handprint on his face, red like his hair. Suddenly he felt a vibration spread through his upper his arm. He lifted his sleeves and saw the red band glowing.

 

Karma pulled off his shirt, staring at the glowing blue band in the mirror. What the hell was happening? Was this some sort of punishment for avoiding his soulmate? He wasn’t even avoiding them, they were mad at him, what could he do? But why the hell was it making him feel so weird with Nagisa? It was almost like…almost like he had feelings for the bluenette. He slapped himself again. That was impossible. They had been best friends for so long…not to mention Japan didn’t exactly accept homosexuals. He pulled out his phone, scrolling to a familiar contact.

 

K: Yo, I know you’re mad, but my band is glowing.

Blueberry: Mine too…

K: Do you know why?

Blueberry: Well I heard that it glows when you become closer or realize something about the other mate.

K: But we haven’t even talked!?

Blueberry: I know…it’s weird.

K: Does it have any effect on your feelings or anything? Like making you feel things for people you’ve never like liked before?

Blueberry: Not that I am aware of…?

K: ok, I gtg, thanks.

Blueberry: Bye

 

“Karma!” Nagisa called as he waved. Nagisa had already paid the bill much to Karma’s annoyance. They left the cafe with Nagisa leading the way. Karma was smiling internally at how enthusiastic the bluenette was. It was such a drastic change from an hour ago.

“Where do you want to go next Karma?”

“I don’t know, why don’t you decide? It’s your first time ditching school after all.” Karma answered.

“Then how about the arcade?” Nagisa suggested, his eyes sparkling, which was rather dramatic for simply going to an arcade. Then again, Karma knew how rare it was for him to be able to go to an arcade since his mother thought that ‘girls weren’t supposed to play games’.

 

“Oh my gosh. Karma, Is that a sonic ninja doll!?” Nagisa squeaked as he saw the claw machine. He was jumping up and down, clearly excited.

“Why don’t you try and get it?” Karma suggested, dropping the arcade coins into Nagisa’s palm.

And so Nagisa began his quest for the 8 collectible sonic ninja dolls. 50 Coins later, Nagisa sat on the floor in defeat. “I give up. This this is rigged.”

Karma chuckled. “It’s obviously rigged, but it’s still possible to get the dolls.” He pulled out eight coins from his pocket and stacked them on the machine. “Now, which one do you want first?”

 

They walked out of the arcade with Nagisa hugging eight sonic ninja doll collectibles.

“Karma you really are amazing,” Nagisa whispered as he followed the redhead.

Karma laughed. “Well, you’re easy to please. Anyway, with claw machines, you have to aim to not catch and drop the dolls into the hole, but more like dragging them into the hole. You push them as close as you can to the hole, and then push it in with your next attempt.”

Nagisa smiled at Karma’s response. He didn’t care what anyone said, he had the perfect best friend.

 

They arrived at Karma’s place, with Nagisa staring in awe at all his luxuries.“No matter how many times I come here, this place never ceases to amaze me.” Nagisa whispered, clasping his hands together. Karma’s condominium was nothing short of lavish. It was most definitely not your average high schooler's home.

“What can I say? I have parents that bribe me to stay away from them.” Karma answered, winking at the bluenette.

“Don’t you miss them?” Nagisa asked, lowering his voice. He looked at Karma’s expression to see one of shock. It quickly reverted back to its devilish smile.

“Why would I? You act like my mother sometimes. ‘Karma! Don’t sleep so late! ‘Karma! Don’t skip your meals! blah blah blah.” Karma mimicked.

Nagisa punched him in the gut playfully, “You got a problem with that?” He asked, half playfully, his heart racing.

“No, no I don’t,” Karma answered immediately, almost too seriously. They stared at each other, a blanket of silence draping the room. Karma leaned in, bringing their faces closer. If he moved an inch, their lips would be touching. If he did, there would be no going back. Contrary to his thoughts though, he did move forward.


	2. You Give Love a Bad Name

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Stuff gets messy.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Finals are finally over...I'm finally updating my fics..yay

Nagisa’s eyes widened as he processed the situation in his head. They were staring into each other’s eyes a minute ago…now, Karma was kissing him. He could feel Karma’s lips on his, soft. It was so gentle, so quick that he could have fooled himself it never even happened. But it did happen, and he could see the regret plastered all over Karma’s face as he pulled away.

“Sorry. I’m gonna go take a shower now. It’s about time your mother came home. You should head back.” Karma whispered, walking into his bedroom and closing the door.

 

Nagisa went home and sprinted into his room. He didn’t know what was happening. Everything was going wrong. Karma had kissed him, but that wasn’t the problem. The problem was that Nagisa had liked it. He had liked it a lot. And Karma looked like he didn’t. He could feel an aching pain in his chest as he came to the realization.

“I like boys?” He whispered before clasping his own mouth shut immediately. He couldn’t tell anybody, and he wouldn’t. He felt a phone vibrate in his pocket. He pulled out his two phones, seeing which one was vibrating. It was his second phone, meaning it was probably his soulmate. He had given ‘Strawberry’ his spare number since he didn’t want his mother to find out that he had a soulmate now. He unlocked his phone and scanned through the message on the screen.

 

Strawberry: Sorry, I think I’m in love with someone else.

Blueberry: Me too...

Strawberry: Okay that made things a lot easier.

Blueberry: Yeah

Strawberry: We can still be friends though, right?

Blueberry: We kind of have to unless you want to suffer withdrawals.

Strawberry: Right…

Blueberry: How’s it going with your girlfriend?

Strawberry: It’s not a girl, and he doesn’t like me back.

Blueberry: You’re gay?

Strawberry: Idk, I might be bi …. Why? Do you have a problem with it?

Blueberry: No… but it made me trust you a little.

Strawberry: Why?

Blueberry: I think I like boys too.

Strawberry: No duh! You’re a girl, so it’s normal.

Blueberry: I’m not a girl.

Strawberry: That’s not funny.

Blueberry: Believe what you will. I’m leaving.

Strawberry: Wait! What?

Strawberry: Blueberry?

  
  


Karma stared at his phone in disbelief. His soulmate was a guy? Well, it didn’t matter really, Karma only had eyes for one guy, and that guy didn’t feel the same way he did. He remembered how soft Nagisa’s lips were…and how Nagisa had looked at him after he had kissed him. Karma didn’t need to look long to see that Nagisa didn’t feel the same way. Nagisa hadn’t even texted Karma after that. He shut his phone, burying his face in his pillow. He wished he could take back what happened. He wished he’d never initiated that kiss. If he hadn’t….they could’ve probably continued being friends…He could’ve just hidden his feelings. But now, they were stuck in this awkward tension. He needed to apologize. Yes, he needed to apologize. It was just a spur of the moment thing. Nagisa could understand, right? Teenage hormones right? Karma pulled on his hair, screaming. 

   He  _ needed _ to fix this.

 

Karma: Sorry about just now Nagisa, I don’t even know why I did that. Teenage hormones am I right?

**Teenage hormones? Hah as if. I like you Nagisa. I really like you.**

Nagisa: Oh..yeah…haha

**Is this your way of saying it was a mistake Karma? I should’ve known…**

Karma: Are we cool now?

**Can we at least be friends if we can’t be more?**

Nagisa: Yeah, of course.

**I was dumb to think Karma wanted to be more than friends**

Karma: I’ll see you in school then.

**Please don’t avoid me**

Nagisa: Yeah

**I…need to stay away from you. I can’t take advantage of you. I..I like you Karma.**

  
  


Nagisa woke up screaming, his pillow was wet with tears. The nightmares were starting. The second part of soul bonding included nightmares, they were supposed to bring you closer to your soulmate, the feeling of fear, but it was hell for Nagisa. He saw Karma in his dreams, dying in front of his eyes. It was terrifying. He died in a car crash, died falling off a cliff, and the worst…died to save Nagisa. Each time he died, Nagisa was there, right there, doing nothing at all. This was the third time his mother had barged into his room asking him what was wrong. Each time she told him it was a dream, but it didn’t make it any easier. He didn’t understand why Karma was in his dreams, wasn’t it supposed to be his fears? Was he afraid of losing Karma? Yes, yes he was. But how was this supposed to bring him closer to his soulmate??

 

“That’s it, I’m not sleeping.” Karma kicked his pillow off his bed, getting up to make himself a cup of coffee. He had enough torture for one night. The first dream he had, Nagisa was getting married to Kayano, safe to say, he didn’t like it. Not too bad though. The next dream was the worse. Nagisa died right before his eyes. They were on a mission, Karma turned away for a split second, and….he was gone. He slapped himself, reminding himself he was having a dream. The nightmare process must’ve started, but that wasn’t what was worrying him. It was the fact that losing Nagisa was his greatest fear. He switched on his TV and started flickering through the channels, he wasn’t going to be getting any sleep today, or tomorrow as a matter of fact.

 

Karma slid open the doors to the classroom, his eyes drifting straight to Nagisa. He let out a sigh of relief, he was okay. He waved at him.  Nagisa shot back a forced smile. A forced smile. Karma could tell that wasn’t a genuine smile. He’d known the boy for too goddamn long. He felt a pain streak through his chest, it slowly started to spread, rendering him unable to breathe. He left the classroom, staggering to the nurse’s room. It was empty, but it would have to do. He locked the door behind him, sinking down on it. He clutched his chest, gasping for air. He’d had enough of all this soulmate shit. What the hell was his mate feeling to cause this much pain? 

 

Nagisa’s chest grew tighter and tighter as he waited for Karma to arrive. He could feel the pain he’d felt the day before. He didn’t want Karma to see him, and he didn’t think he could handle being around the redhead. Karma was his best friend. The pain in Nagisa’s chest snapped, choking him for a second before dissipating. The redhead entered, waving at Nagisa. Nagisa’s felt his resolve ripping to shreds. He liked Karma. But Karma didn’t like him. He felt a sharp pain in his chest, but ignored it, shooting Karma a smile he hoped would reassure the redhead. But Karma only frowned before staggering away instead. . Nagisa got up from his seat, worried. What was wrong with Karma? He’d just make sure he was okay before staying away from him. He walked down the corridor, still feeling the piercing pain in his chest. What was wrong with him? He heard a groan coming from the nurse’s room. He’d heard it plenty of times before when he’d taken the redhead there to heal his bruises and cuts from his fights. He knocked on the door. 

“Karma…are you alright?” Nagisa could hear movement from behind the door.

“I’m fine. Go to class.” Karma’s voice was rough, he was in pain.

“If you have an injury…I can help you.” Nagisa offered. He got a grunt in reply.

“Just leave me alone. You can’t help with this.”

“Oh..alright then.” 

Karma could hear the disappointment in his voice, but he couldn’t do much about it. Nagisa really couldn’t help with what was happening to him. It’s all his soulmate’s fault. He sighed. Having a soulmate was worse than it sounded.

 

Strawberry: Hey, whats going on? You’re killing me here.

Blueberry: I’m sorry! I can’t help it…

Strawberry: What do you mean you can’t help it? Is your boyfriend not reciprocating your feelings or what?

Blueberry: No…something sort of happened. And he’s not my boyfriend

Strawberry: Wanna talk about it? We’re soulmates after all. And also because I want this pain to go away.

Blueberry: Alright…

Strawberry: I’m listening.

Blueberry: So, basically we’re really close friends and all, but he kissed me, and he regrets it so much. He never wants to do it again, he said it was mistake..But I don’t want it to be a mistake. I like him…I really like him…

Strawberry: Wow, i’m in the exact opposite situation. I initiated the move and the other guy hated it. He’s acting so awkward around me and doesn’t even smile around me anymore. So…I kind of feel for you?

Blueberry: Wow I guess this soulmate thing really is real.

Strawberry: It’s a pain in the ass though

Blueberry: I’m sorry!! A lot is going on…He’s shutting me out.

Strawberry: I’ll be here if you need support alright? Stop feeling so pained, it’s killing me. You don’t need him if he’s such a jerk.

Blueberry: He’s not a jerk! And I’ve already stopped since we started chatting…This isn’t my pain…it’s yours.

Strawberry: No way.

Blueberry: Yes way. Anyway class is starting…Thanks for everything. Try not to feel so bad alright? You can talk to me too. ^^ 

 

Karma went to class after the pain eased a little. He went through the day, occasionally glancing at Nagisa. He seemed alright, Karma thought. He sighed, tapping his pen on his desk. Why was this so complicated? Couldn’t the world just make everything easier for him?

“Karma-kun Is everything alright?”

Karma flinched back at his teacher’s figure looming over him. He sighed, rolling his eyes. “Yeah, so stop pestering me.”

“Karma. I let you leave school yesterday, and you come back a mess. Perhaps it was wrong of me to let you go.” Koro-sensei said, worry plastered on his face.

“Just shut up and leave me alone,” Karma responded, burying his face in his arms.

“Nagisa-kun, what happened yesterday?” Koro-sensei turned to the bluenette, his face morphed with concern.

Karma snapped his head back.“Just leave him alone! Nothing happened so just go back to teaching the stupid freaking class!” Karma yelled. The class silenced, looking at him.

“Karma…you-“ Nagisa continued.

“I’m leaving.” Karma stood up, ignoring Nagisa’s statement, and left the class.

 

“Karma Akabane. You are not opening those gates.” Karasuma called after him as he tried to leave. Karma glared at him before smiling sarcastically.

“You’re right. I’ll just jump over it.” He lifted himself over and sprinted down the mountain. 

 

Nagisa got up immediately to follow the redhead, but Koro-sensei blocked the doorway.

“Nagisa-kun, you can’t skip class any more than you already have.”

“But I need to see if Karma’s okay!” Nagisa clawed at the octopus, trying to push him out of the way.

“You have no reason to leave right now.”

“Then why’d you let Karma leave?”

“Karma isn’t feeling well,” Koro-sensei whispered to the bluenette.

“What do you mean?” Nagisa asked, raising an eyebrow at Koro-sensei’s hushed tone.

“If you stay back after class I’ll tell you. So go back to your seat.”

Nagisa trudged back to his seat, waiting for class to finish.

 

Karma went down the mountain, muttering to himself. He didn’t know how he was going to go back to school tomorrow. He sprinted home, dropping his bag and getting into bed. His chest started to ache in pain again. This time he was getting sick. He could feel it. He groaned in pain. Goddamnit…How long was this going to happen for? He sighed, maybe he should give his soulmate a chance…Perhaps Nagisa isn’t the one for him. But his soulmate didn’t make his heart race, didn’t make him laugh, didn’t make him want to kiss them. Well, they haven’t officially met yet, but he couldn’t imagine it with anyone else except for Nagisa. And he was pretty certain that Nagisa didn’t have a soulmate. Oh, what he would give to have Nagisa. But Nagisa wasn’t gay or bi to Karma’s knowledge, and he was pretty certain there were some feelings between him and Kayano after Nagisa was so eager to kiss her that oh so eventful day. He sighed. He should just go to sleep.

 

“What is it Koro-sensei?” Nagisa asked, once no one else was in the classroom.

“Nagisa-kun, you and Karma are best friends. But I want to ask you, are you anything more than that?” He paused. “Or do you want to be anything more than that?”

Nagisa kept silent. He glared at the presence in front of him. “Why are you asking me this?”

“Nagisa-kun.”

“I’m asking you a question Koro-Sensei. As a teacher, you have to answer me.” He didn’t care that he was glaring at the teacher who had helped him so many times. He wanted an answer.

“I believe Karma has found a soulmate.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It's goin' down for real.


	3. When Will it End?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Depressing shit.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Merry Christmas!! ~~ Here's my super duper ultra depressing present to you guys!

Nagisa stared at his teacher. He felt his eyes tear up and his heart tear in a second. He felt something wet drip down his cheeks. Oh… he was crying. Great.

“Nagisa-kun, -“

“No, no- it’s fine.” Nagisa quickly answered, wiping his tears away. “That’s great! Karma has someone who can help him get through his troubles.” He smiled genuinely at the thought of Karma not having to suffer alone. Koro-sensei was staring at him, his expression plastered with worry. “Well, my mom is expecting me...I should probably go home.”

Koro-sensei smiled grimly. “That’s alright. You hurry on then.” 

Nagisa grabbed his bag and made his way down the mountain, kicking stones as he walked.

He tried not to think about it. He really tried. He didn’t want his soulmate to figure out that something else was wrong. He had already caused them quite a bit of pain, and he was sure they had their own problems too. 

 

Karma was watching TV when he felt something wet drip down his cheek. He wiped it off and looked around him to check that nothing was leaking on him. But the liquid kept flowing, not slowing down. He went into the bathroom, looking at himself in the mirror. What awaited him was not something he was prepared for. he was ...crying? Karma hadn’t cried since the day his parents shipped him away, which was  _ years _ ago. It was weird, the taste of the salt. He hated it. He pulled out his phone. There was only one reason this was happening: his soulmate.

 

Strawberry: What’s wrong?

Blueberry: Did I hurt you again?

Strawberry: No...but I’m crying..and I don’t cry. And there’s this heavy weight in my chest. Well heavier than it usually is.

Blueberry: Oh.

Strawberry: So what is it?

Blueberry: I don’t think you’ll feel comfortable talking about it.

Strawberry: Really? Try me.

Blueberry: Remember the person I told you I liked?

Strawberry: Yeah? The jerk?

Blueberry: He’s not a jerk!

Strawberry: Sure, but go on.

Blueberry: He has a soulmate already.

Strawberry: Oh...

Strawberry: Well then...

Strawberry: Have you thought about the possibility that he doesn’t like his soulmate? Kind of like us.

Blueberry: You don’t like me? 

Strawberry: You know that’s not what I meant -.-

Blueberry: Yeah...I did think of that, but he still wouldn’t like me in the way I like him.

Strawberry: Listen, I’ve only known you for a week or so, but I like you. You remind me of a close friend.

Blueberry: ^^ Thank you, and I know it’s kind of weird to say this, but yeah... you remind me of someone too.

Strawberry: You should just confess to him.

Blueberry: I could say the same for you.

Strawberry: You don’t understand, we’ve been best friends for so long.

Blueberry: That’s exactly the situation I’m in!

Strawberry: Oh really? But he initiated the kiss, didn’t he?

Blueberry: He was just caught up in the moment. He instantly regretted it.

Strawberry: How do you know that?

Blueberry: He’s my best friend, I should know.

Strawberry: Yeah...you’re right.

Blueberry: My mother is home, I’ve got to go.

Strawberry: Does your mom know about me?

Blueberry: No. She can never know. I’m using a different phone and paying the phone bill myself.

Strawberry: Oh you should probably go then.

Blueberry: Bye :)

 

Nagisa sighed, pulling the elastic bands out of his hair, letting it loose. His mother never liked his hair tied up. He entered the living room, watching as his mother’s face light up when she saw him.

“Darling!”

“Welcome home, Mom.” He smiled weakly. He could tell from her tone she had something for him.

“I’ve finally saved enough for this beautiful dress I saw in the boutique the other day! Go try it on! We can go for dinner tonight.” She reached into a casing she was carrying and pulled out a baby blue one-shoulder dress that reached his knees. It really was pretty, it would suit most of the girls in his class. But he knew the dress wasn’t for them. It was for him. 

 

“Why you look absolutely adorable Nagisa!” His mother gleamed at the sight of her ‘daughter’ after putting on the dress. “I definitely made a brilliant choice. Don’t you think so?

Nagisa nodded meekly, directing his gaze away from the mirror in front of him.

“Give Mom thirty minutes to get ready and we’ll go out alright? Go put on some makeup while I take a shower.” 

Nagisa swallowed nervously. “Don’t you think I’m pretty enough without makeup? I don’t think I need to put it on today...”

She glared at him and shoved him into her room, pushing her makeup onto him. “Put them on yourself or else mommy will have to do it for you.” She left the room, slamming the door behind her. Nagisa sighed.  He sat in front of a mirror and began applying the various sets of colours on his face. His mom had sat him down for hours on end, teaching him how to use makeup until he had mastered the art. It wasn’t something he took pride in, but if it allowed his mother to let him decide what type of makeup to put on, he’d do it. He remembered the first time she had put makeup on him. He had looked in the mirror and barely recognized himself. His face was pale white, his features all doll-like. That was the last time he let his mom put makeup on him. He sighed as he looked into the mirror, putting on his finishing touches. He’d always choose a natural style so that you couldn’t tell he was wearing makeup unless you were looking for it. He cleared back all his mother’s things. It was about time she came out of the shower now.

  
  


Karma was debating on starving or leaving the comfort of his bed to get dinner. He was going to decide on the first when his phone rang. He looked at the caller ID and raised an eyebrow in confusion.

“Rio?” He answered hesitantly.

“Yo, you feelin better? Wanna go grab a bite?” 

Karma cringed at the volume of her voice. “Not feeling it right now.”

“Too bad. I’m waiting outside your complex.”

Karma could feel her sticking her tongue out at him through the phone. “Alright, give me a minute to make myself presentable at least.”

“I’ll be counting. And dress nicely, I feel like going fancy.” She answered before ending the call.

Karma stood there, debating whether or not to let her wait out there until she got tired. He really wasn’t feeling it right now, and she wanted him to dress up? He sighed, stepping into the shower. Hopefully, his soulmate didn’t have any more breakdowns in public.

 

“What took you so long?” 

Karma stepped out of the elevator, his hands in his pockets.”I really wasn’t that long. 10 minutes at most. Anyway, what did you want?”

Rio ignored his question pulling him by the hand. “Let’s go! I’m dying of hunger.”

Karma gave up, letting her pull him to a restaurant close by.

“Rio, are you sure you want to eat here?” He stood in front of the restaurant, gesturing to the sign.

“Yes! You’re not the only one with expensive taste you know.” She answered, creasing her eyebrows. “Besides...today is special.”

“Special how?” Karma was starting to get scared. It wasn’t like her to be nice to other people without some sort of motive.  What was even more suspicious was the fact that she actually dressed for the occasion, a proper full on sleeveless back dress that reached high above her knees. She even curled her hair, pulling it up in a high ponytail so that it cascaded down her shoulders.

“You’ll see...” She whispered as they walked in.

The waiter seated them at a table, handing them the menu. They ordered their meals and Karma turned to Rio.

“Okay, let’s get straight to the point. No more games. What do you want?” 

Karma raised an eyebrow in confusion when the blonde’s cheeks flushed.  _ What the heck? _

“Can we eat first? I’m too hungry to feel like talking right now.” She muttered, turning her head to the side.

“Fine.”

 

Nagisa shuffled his feet as he tagged behind his mother in the dress he was wearing. There was nothing more embarrassing for the bluenette right now. He looked like a girl before, but at least he could tell the difference. Now? Honestly even he couldn’t tell.

“Nagisa, stop shuffling your feet. Proper girls don’t walk like that.” His mother whispered sternly.

Nagisa held his head down trying to hide his face, but walking in heels looking downward wasn’t exactly the ideal way to walk. He lifted his face slightly and saw the restaurant they were going to. He sighed in relief. At least it wasn’t a restaurant any high schoolers would go to. It looked posh and extremely expensive. Sometimes he wondered how his mother struggled to pay the bills when she could afford such expensive dresses and such luxury restaurants.

 

As Nagisa entered the restaurant, a feeling of dread overcame him. He sensed the presence of two  _ very  _ familiar people. He turned his head around, and saw Rio and Karma both in formal attire, having dinner together. Nagisa swerved around hiding behind his mother.

“Mom, can we go a little deeper into the restaurant?” 

“Nagisa, I’ve already booked this table, I can’t change my reservation this late. Besides, this table has the best view of the whole restaurant. 

Nagisa was panicking, his heart palpitating rapidly. Karma and Rio were never close to the extent of having dinner together. Were Karma and Rio dating? But Karma has a soulmate... Was she his soulmate? Nagisa could feel his resolve tearing, the searing pain in his chest reviving. He dashed outside, despite his mother’s protests. Clutching his chest, he looked through the window at his two friends. He should be happy for them, right? Karma found his soulmate... Just when Nagisa felt he could go back in, he saw Rio pull on Karma’s tie, and join their lips. Nagisa stared in shock. He felt his heart break. He sprinted away, running in his heels, no matter how  painful it was.

 

Karma stared at Rio in shock. What the heck just happened? He felt a sharp pain in his chest. “Rio, what the-” Karma stopped when he saw a flash of blue and a familiar face sprinting past the window.

“I like you Karma!” The blonde interrupted. “I really like you. I just...you’ve been looking so down these past few days and I got worried...” She paused, taking a deep breath. 

“Rio, you don’t need to pity me.” Was that Nagisa? No..it couldn’t be. Suddenly he was having trouble breathing and felt his eyes getting warm. He was  _ not _ about to cry right now.  _ Damn it...was his soulmate crying? _

“This isn’t pity!” She exclaimed, clutching the edges of her dress. “I’ve liked you for a long time! We always play pranks on people together, and you’re one of my closest friends. I just...felt like if we dated you could feel better...or something.”

Karma glared at her through his eyes as they started to tear up. “Isn’t that the definition of pity? Your only motivation for doing that was to make me feel better.”

She opened her mouth to counter back, but Karma turned around. “I’m going to the bathroom. Give me a minute.” He paced to the bathroom and locked the door behind him. If anyone had to go to the bathroom they would just have to deal with it. He leaned on the door and felt the stream of tears as they ran down his cheeks. 

 

Strawberry: Hey, you alright?

 

There was no answer, but the tears didn’t stop. He decided to just wait. He couldn’t go out of the bathroom either since his eyes were streaming tears like a river. He felt his phone vibrate.

 

Blueberry: Sorry, I was running.

Strawberry: Are you crying or is this sweat leaking out of my eyes?

Blueberry:  I’d like to say the latter, but it’s the former. Sorry, hope it didn’t get you into too much trouble.

 

Karma felt the tears cease, and smiled. At least he was able to make someone feel better.

 

Strawberry: It’s fine... You got me out of a situation I didn’t really want to be in.

Blueberry: Oh..what happened?

Strawberry: Nothing important, it’s alright. What happened to you?

Blueberry: I’ll tell you if you tell me.

Strawberry: -.-

Blueberry: I asked you first!

Strawberry: A friend asked me out...

Blueberry: Do you like them?

Strawberry: No. Not in  _ that _ way.

Blueberry: Oh... well hopefully you didn’t reject her that badly.

Strawberry: Whose side are you on right now?? -.-

Blueberry: Hehe~ Sorry

Strawberry: So what happened to you?

Blueberry: I saw him with his soulmate.

Strawberry: Him? As in the jerk?

Blueberry: Yes

Blueberry: Wait no. I mean no. He’s not a jerk.

Strawberry:  ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡° )

Blueberry: asdfghjkl just stop.

Strawberry: So you saw them together?

Blueberry: They were kissing.

Strawberry: 0_0

Blueberry: Not helping!

Strawberry: But in all seriousness...I hate to say this, but if he’s serious about his soulmate...maybe you should let him go.

Blueberry: I know...but..he’s my best friend...I don’t know how to.

Strawberry: Then tell him. Just get it over with. You’ll feel better after that.

Blueberry: I can’t... I can’t stand the thought of losing him.

Strawberry: Alright, no pressure. I think it’s time I returned to my friend. I’ve been the bathroom for a good 15 minutes now. She’s gonna think I ditched her.

Blueberry: Okay! And..thanks.

Strawberry: Don’t mention it  (*^.^*)

 

Karma unlocked the bathroom door and walked out, scanning the room for Rio. She was seated at the same table, scrolling through her phone. Karma paid the bill and sat across from her, bringing her attention back to the redhead.

“Karma!.....” She paused as her eyes fell on Karma’s face. “Have you been crying?” She asked incredulously.

Karma could feel his eye twitch. Right. He forgot about that. “No. Absolutely not.” 

She stood up to examine his face, but lucky for him a shout echoed through the restaurant. The two flipped their head to find the source of the sound, and Karma froze. A person who very much looked like Nagisa’s mother was a few tables away from them screaming into her phone and based on the conversation they were having, it was most definitely Nagisa. 

  
  


Nagisa stopped at the park and sat on one of the benches. He removed his heels to see blood smeared all over his feet. It wasn’t a very good idea to run in heels after all. His mind drifted back to the scene that had been replaying in his mind. Karma and Rio...He sort of guessed that Rio had liked him...but he didn’t think Karma would reciprocate. Well, he had to move on now. He couldn’t possibly interrupt their relationship. Karma wouldn’t settle for someone he didn’t like either. He let out a small laugh. Why was everyone around him happy except for him? He should have expected this. Rio was the closest girl to him after all, and it wasn’t like Karma could have feelings for another boy. He wiped his eyes and saw his mom’s caller ID flash on the screen. He cleared his throat and answered the phone. 

“Yes, Mom?”

“Nagisa baby, where are you?” Her voice was leaking with poison, just waiting for him to answer wrongly.

“Mom, I’m not going to dinner tonight.” He answered, his voice low. She wasn’t going to like it, and he would most definitely be getting punished tonight.

“Nagisa, you are coming back right now, or else Mommy is going to get mad.”

He remained silent.

“NAGISA SHIOTA I’M GIVING YOU 5 MINUTES TO COME BACK HERE.”

Nagisa could hear how loud his mother was screaming. There was no way he would be able to go to school tomorrow if he didn’t go back right now. She’d use her whip on him and lock him in the closet at the very least. He sniffled. “Okay mom, I’m coming.”

 

“Mrs Shiota, is everything alright?” Karma asked, attempting to calm the woman down. She turned to him, a glare evident on her face, but upon seeing the redhead they calmed down immediately. She smiled at him, putting her phone down.

“Oh, Karma dear, what are you doing here?” She smiled sweetly at him.

“I was having dinner when I saw you...is everything alright?” Everything was most definitely not alright, seeing as she was shouting at him, and he had seen Nagisa sprint away from the restaurant before.

“Oh, it’s nothing to worry about, Nagisa was being a little bit stubborn about coming for dinner. That’s all.”

As the words left her mouth, the restaurant doors opened, and Nagisa entered. Karma’s jaw dropped at the sight of Nagisa in the dress. Well, there goes any sort of image of Nagisa being a male ever again.

 

Nagisa entered, his gaze on the floor. Karma didn’t seem to be at the table he was dining at before, so he took it as the redhead had left. He let out a sigh of relief and turned his gaze to his mother’s table. He froze. Karma was standing next to his mother, and Rio was a little further behind. His mother gestured for him to return to the table, a crooked smile on her face. He could feel Karma staring at him as he made his way to the table.

“Nagisa...” The redhead started.

 

Karma watched as Nagisa pulled on his mom’s sleeve and whispered in her ear. He couldn’t make out what was being said, but he was sure it was something about him. She turned around and looked at Rio, staring daggers at her.

“Karma dear, why don’t you take you and your  _ girlfriend  _ somewhere else? I’ve got to discuss something with Nagisa.”

“She's not my-”

“Karma, just go.” The bluenette whispered, avoiding his gaze.

Karma nodded, grabbing Rio by the hand and leaving the restaurant.

 

“Darling, I’m sorry...I always thought that Karma liked you. Who knew he would stab you in the back like this.” His mother rubbed his back gently, something she never did.

“He didn’t stab me in the back...” He managed to choke out.

“It’s alright dear. How about we just go home. I can tell you don’t want to be here.”

He looked at his mom, grateful to her for this first time in years. “Thanks Mom.”

 

“Nagisa, come sit down here.”

He obeyed his mother, sitting down next to her.

“I’m so excited you’ve finally found a boy for yourself, so we’re going to work together to get him alright?”

He looked at his mother confused. “What do you mean?”

“You know you’re really stupid sometimes Nagisa. I mean, we could get that Rio girl away from him.” She was grinning, as if it was the best plan in the world.

He stared at his mother in horror. “Mom...no. They’re soulmates.”

“So?” She continued, raising an eyebrow.

“The only way to break a soulbond is by one of them dying...right?”

“Well, that’s the only for sure way to break it, but we can still discontinue the bond.”

“What do you mean?”

“It’s possible to put one of them in so much grief that they reach the level of despair. However, the main source of the grief has to spawn from the soulmate. It’s like a protective shield for the person in case their soulmate is abusive or bad in some way.”

He stared at his mom. “I’ve never heard of any of this before...Then does the bond not exist anymore?”

She smiled at him. “It does exist of course, but they will feel no connection. They cannot sync their skin, they cannot feel each other’s pain, and they will not feel withdrawals.” She paused. “So how about it? We can try it out on that Rio girl.”

“Mom no! I don’t want to hurt Karma or Rio.” He looked at his mom and saw her pulse increasing.

“Wrong answer, darling.”

 

Nagisa sat shivering in the dark closet, his mom’s words ringing in his ears. He was a disappointment. Nobody liked him. He was useless. He was born wrong. He was worthless. He should just  _ die _ . He’d thought about it before, but the idea seemed ridiculous. Why would you end your life for someone else? He laughed at himself. Was he so weak to contemplate suicide after already enduring so many years of this in his life? Well, to be fair to himself, this wasn’t just because of his mom was it? It was Karma, it was his soulmate, it was his mom. Nobody chose him. He was always just there, second place. Nobody wanted him. He heard the closet door click as his mother opened the door. He stepped out, not looking her in the eye.

“I’m going out for a walk Mom.” He didn’t wait for her response which was already a mistake he knew he shouldn’t have done. Regardless, he continued walking, breathing in the fresh air he had desperately craved in the dark stuffy closet. He clenched his fists, feeling the wind burn the areas his mother had whipped him. His clothes had stuck to his flesh, causing pain at every turn. He sat down on a free bench and looked around. He had nothing better to do anyway.

 

“You still haven’t answered me Karma.” The blonde muttered under her breath as she kicked the pebbles beneath her feet. He looked at her, sighing.

“Rio, I just don’t feel the same way and I don’t want to be in a one-sided relationship.” He watched as the pebbles she kicked flicked across the sidewalk. “Stop kicking the pebbles, you’re going to hurt someone if not yourself.”

“Let me have this alright? You’re already rejecting me.”

Karma sighed. “Shall we go home then? We’ve been at the park for about two hours now. Won’t your folks be worried?”

“Yeah, they probably will-”

Karma watched as her foot got stuck under a hard pebble, causing her feet to come out under her. She trips, and Karma catches her, but not before he can see that her ankles been twisted.

“Oww....” The blonde muttered as she clung onto the redhead.

“What did I tell you?” Karma sighed, running his fingers through his hair. “Can you walk?”

He watched as she attempted to walk and nearly fell again. He steadied her by the waist. “Get on my back, I’ll take you home.”

 

Nagisa hummed to himself, trying to distract himself from the pain of his clothes being stuck to the dried blood on his back. He heard a squeal and turned around to find the source of it, and he immediately shrunk into the bench. It was Rio and Karma again. Great. He was in no condition to act fine in front of Karma. He watched as they walked together, and Karma bent down to carry her on his back. Oh...well...that confirmed they were dating if not anything else. He laughed at himself. He didn’t even realize he was clinging on to any strand of hope being thrown at him. Why would Karma choose him over Rio? He stood up, feeling his shirt tear off some of his skin. Maybe he should just go home.

 

It was like that for the next week, it never got any better. It occurred to him that he was under depression. He rarely ate, never went out, didn’t talk to anyone at school. Koro-sensei had approached him, but he had brushed the teacher off. He didn’t care anymore. He even avoided Karma. But the biggest change was the fact that his soul band was pale. It wasn’t red anymore, but a greyish red. He’d guessed what it was, as after confirming with his ‘mother’, it was indeed true. He had created a dead bond. He wasn’t sad though, his soulmate loved another. He hadn’t even replied to his soulmate’s messages. He hoped they’d gotten their happily ever after. He entered his room, pulling out his penknife, and as usual, rolled up his sleeves and ran it across his wrist lightly. He relaxed as the skin reddened, and the blood came into vision. He watched as it trickled down his skin, tainting his pale skin. It spread across the other older cuts that were slightly less visible after having days to heal. He also constantly wore long-sleeved shirts now. He didn’t want anyone seeing what he did after all. He also made sure to apply makeup to the cuts every day in case someone got suspicious. The only bad thing about it was that it made him very self-aware. He kept tugging on his sleeves, making sure they covered every inch of his arm. He glanced at his phone as he saw it ring again. It was his soulmate.

 

Karma put down his phone. No answer again. He’d come to realize that his soul band was pale, and he had no idea what the hell was happening. He’d texted them so many messages he couldn’t even count, and even called them. He’d thought about it. That his soulmate had died. But after thorough research, he found out that if your soulmate died, you’d feel a shattering pain, unlike anything. It was the opposite with him. He hadn’t felt anything. Anything at all. Speaking of which, Nagisa had been ignoring him, hell, avoiding him. He wouldn’t even eat lunch anymore, much less converse with him. The bluenette looked like he had been through hell. His complexion was paler than ever, he was losing weight, and he had started wearing long sleeves all the time. He had thought of reasons for that, like being colder since he had started losing weight, but it wasn’t cold all the time. They could be doing physical education and he’d still be running with his long sleeves. He didn’t know what had happened, but he needed to fix their relationship. Karma wouldn’t forgive himself if something happened to the bluenette while he was around.

 

Karma entered the classroom, surprisingly early just to make sure the bluenette was okay. Upon his arrival he saw the bluenette conversing with his teacher, his expression one of sadness, or giving up, he couldn’t tell. He waited for them to finish before entering, draping an arm around the smaller male.

“Yo Nagi, I need to talk to you.”

The bluenette shrugged his arm off. “Just tell me here.”

Karma folded his arms across his chest. “Why do you keep wearing long sleeved clothing? You’re wearing jackets and our winter uniforms when it clearly isn’t that hot all the time.”

Karma could’ve swore he saw the smaller male’s eyes widen, but they returned to their neutral state as he buried his face back into his hands on the desk.

“I’m just cold. Leave me alone.”

“Okay, seriously what is wrong with you?” Karma said, his voice no longer soft. He watched as the bluenette lifted his head, glaring at the redhead.

“If you have a problem with me, then just  _ fu**ing _ stay away from me.”

Karma froze. _Did he just swear? Nagisa never swore._ “Nagisa seriously, tell me what I did. I can’t fix this if  I don’t know what I did.” 

No reply.

 

It went on for the next week, except worse. Nagisa was full out blatantly ignoring him, and he was getting frailer and frailer. Even Koro-sensei was worried. Everyone had tried helping the bluenette, especially Kayano, but he even brushed her off. Though not as rudely as he did to Karma. Karma had had enough. He’d had his time to sulk, now they needed to fix whatever was happening. He pulled out a slip of paper and scribbled a note on it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> In no way am I glorifying self-harm. Self-harm is just a temporary relief to a temporary problem. If you are self-harming or struggling with anything you can reach out to the people around you, or me if it makes you feel any better. Trust me, you'll regret it once it's over, don't do something you know you'll regret.
> 
> You are loved.


	4. Love Struck

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Karma breaks down Nagisa's walls like the Colossal Titan....except a lot smoother.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I KNOW IT TOOK ME FOREVER TO GET THIS OUT. BUT BETTER LATE THAN NEVER RIGHT? Ps: No beta for this chapter coz she's been busy with stuff ><

_ ‘Nagisa, come to the cafe after school. If you’re not there before 5, I’ll go to your house.’ _

 

Nagisa felt his head pound after reading the note. Karma couldn’t go to his house. He’d figure something out. He was smart that way. He glanced at the watch on his wrist. “2:45.” He’d have to run. 

Karma sat down in the cafe, sipping on a cup of coffee. Five minutes left to go. If Nagisa didn’t show up, he’d really go to the bluenette’s apartment. He sighed, leaning back into his chair. Suddenly, the cafe door slammed open, and Nagisa stormed in. He sat on the seat opposite Karma and glared at him, his blue eyes piercing through Karma’s mercury coloured eyes. 

“What do you want?”  

Karma jolted at his sharp tone. Nagisa’s voice was raspy, and sharp, unlike his usual soft and gentle tone. He sat up. “Don’t give me that shit. You and I both know something is wrong with you.” He looked at Nagisa, watching him tug at his sleeves.

“Why is it any of your concern? I’m sure you have enough to worry about with your soulmate and all.” Nagisa muttered, glancing at Karma.

Karma jerked. “Why are you suddenly talking about my soulmate? How did you even find out?”  He shook his head. “No, that isn’t what I’m here to talk about. Nagisa, what’s wrong? Please tell me. I don’t want to go on like this.” There was a pause as Nagisa stayed silent.

“I have a soulmate too.”

 

“What?” Karma asked, his heart thumping a million times faster. This wasn’t happening. He liked Nagisa. He loved Nagisa. But if he had a soulmate.... He felt his arm heating up. He clutched his arm, hiding the growing pain.

“Yeah... But they don’t like me back... “ Nagisa answered, hoping Karma wouldn’t catch on.

Karma clenched his teeth. Who on earth wouldn’t like Nagisa? But he couldn’t deny the small part of him that was jumping for joy for the fact that it meant Nagisa didn’t belong to anyone yet.

“Is that why you’ve been so depressed lately?” Karma asked.

“Y-Yeah...” 

 

Karma wasn’t one for hugs, but he gave Nagisa one anyway, relishing in the warmth the bluenette provided.  Nagisa gasped as Karma gently put his arms around him. He wasn’t going to cry. He wasn’t planning on crying, but when the source of all your pain was unpredictable like Karma, it wasn’t like you could plan for it anyway. He sniffled, trying to keep quiet, but he couldn’t stop the tears from running.

 

Karma felt his shirt dampen and let out the breath he didn’t know he had been holding. He’d rather the bluenette release all his sadness than to bottle it up all the time. He held Nagisa closer to him, rubbing reassuring circles on his back. It pained him to see that Nagisa was crying for someone who didn’t love him back. If only...if Nagisa felt that way for Karma....he’d never make Nagisa cry like this. He felt the soft sobbing cease slowly and the bluenette drew away from his chest.

 

“Nagisa, since you told me, it’s only right I tell you myself.” He took a breath. “I have a soulmate too. But we’ve agreed that we both don’t like each other.” He watched as the bluenette stared at him. 

“You don’t like your soulmate?” Nagisa asked, wiping the tears off as they slid down his cheek. “I don’t know them well enough. Besides....I’ve got my eye on someone else.”

_ So Karma’s soulmate isn’t Nakamura? I mean Karma wouldn’t kiss someone he didn’t have feelings for...So the person he has feelings for is Nakamura...and he rejected his soulmate for her.  _ “Karma... I don’t understand. Soulmates are supposed to be perfect for each other... why is it like this....”

Karma clicked his tongue, shrugging. “Our luck I guess.” He glanced at his watch and frowned. “Nagisa you have to head home now...your mom’s probably on her way home now.” He watched as the bluenette glanced at the wall clock and stood up abruptly.

“I’ll see you tomorrow then....Karma.”

 

Well that went better than he expected. He’d managed to figure out what was wrong with Nagisa and consoled him in one go. Well...he couldn’t tell if he did console him...since the bluenette never did smile in the end. He pulled up his sleeve to check on his soul-band. Still grey. He sighed, ruffling his hair.

 

Nagisa walked home, feeling  _ slightly  _ better than before. Karma really had no idea what an effect he had on Nagisa. Nagisa tugged on his sleeves, checking that the scars on his arm were nowhere in view. He scrolled through his phone, looking at all the messages his soulmate had sent. He smiled. Someone cared...even if they didn’t love him. He shut his phone off, not replying to the message. _ They’d move on and forget him too eventually. _

 

Karma glanced out the cafe window, it was getting dark. He pulled out his phone.

 

_ Karma: Did you get home safe? _

_ Nagisa: Yeah. _

_ Karma: You alright? _

_ Nagisa: More or less. _

_ Karma: Get some sleep tonight yeah? You look like you haven’t slept for weeks. _

_ Nagisa: I’ll try. _

_ Nagisa: Thanks, Karma. _

_ Karma: Don’t mention it  _ _ (￣▽￣*)ゞ _

  
  
  
  
  
  
  


The next day Karma went to class early, his eyes scanning the room for the bluenette. Nagisa looked at him and put some effort in to smile.

“Hey, Karma.”

Karma grinned, happy they were talking to each other again. “We’ve got PE today. You should probably get out of that....jacket? Why are you wearing a jacket? It isn’t even winter anymore.”

“Uh...just cold probably...” Nagisa mumbled.

Karma raised an eyebrow. “Alright then.”

 

“Naaagisa-kun!” Kayano called as Karasuma directed them to find a group of three for their next exercise. Karma raised an eyebrow at her and pulled Nagisa to his side.

“Sorry~ Nagisa has been taken.” Karma teased, slinging an arm around Nagisa.

Kayano pouted. “Karasuma sensei said to find a group of three!”

“Stop teasing her Karma,” Nagisa muttered, pulling himself out of Karma’s grasp. It was way too hot to have human contact right now.  He wiped the sweat off his forehead and unzipped his jacket without removing it. There was no way he was going to remove it in front of everyone. Kayano must have seen his uncomfortable posture because she gave him a funny look.

“Nagisa...you look uncomfortable....why don’t you just take off your jacket? It’s pretty hot now..” She glanced at his sleeves before quickly tugging on his jacket playfully, sliding it off his arms. Nagisa’s eyes widened, quickly slapping her hands away rather roughly. Karma stared at him in shock. Did Nagisa really just hit her?

 

Nagisa’s eyes widened in realization of what he had done. “Sorry, Kayano!! It was a mistake...I’m really sorry!!” He apologized before sprinting off back into the classroom, zipping up his jacket.

“What the heck...” Karma muttered.  _ Maybe he hadn’t figured what was wrong with Nagisa after all.  _ He followed after Nagisa, signalling to his teacher to leave them alone.

 

Nagisa shut the door behind him. He had sprinted to the nurse’s room, but now what? He was causing trouble for everyone around him. He had even _hit_ Kayano. He didn’t _hit anyone_. He knew what it was like to be hit, the mental and physical pain. He couldn’t believe he would have done that to someone. Kayano, nonetheless. He heard heavy footsteps as they banged against the wooden floor. That had to be Karma. He sat on the bed, preparing himself for whatever the redhead was about to do.

 

Karma opened each door he passed, checking for the bluenette. Truthfully, he knew where the bluenette was, but he was preparing himself. He didn’t know what he was going to do when he saw him. Was he mad? No, he had no right to be mad. He was...upset? He sighed. Why was everything so complicated? But that wasn’t the problem right now...it was the problem flickering in the back of his mind. One he didn’t want to acknowledge. One he had prayed to never have to acknowledge. The reason why Nagisa was so protective of his hands....the reason why he wore long sleeves. He slid open the nurse’s room door, his eyes softening at the sight of the bluenette curled up on the bed.

 

“Nagisa...” Karma called out quietly.

“Don’t come any nearer. I...” _ I don’t deserve to be friends with you. I’m just a pathetic person who can’t get over his pathetic one-sided little crush. _

_ “ _ I don’t care.” Karma interrupted. He shut the door firmly behind him. “There is no reason you can give me to convince me to stay away from you.”

Nagisa pressed his back against the wall. “Karma, you don’t know anything...Just let me-”

“Then tell me!” Karma slammed his fist against the wall. “Do you know what you’re doing to me by hiding things from me? You’re driving me  _ insane. _ ”

“No one is forcing you to stay with me! Just leave if you want to!” Nagisa sobbed, feeling tears run down his cheeks. “ He wiped his tears off, covering his face with his arms.

“I already told you. There is  _ nothing _ you can do to make me leave you.” Karma softened his voice. He shouldn’t be the one getting angry right now. He sucked in his breath. There was something more important than this right now. “Nagisa.” He called quietly. He watched as the bluenette lifted his head slightly in response. “Lift up your sleeves.”

 

Nagisa hid his arms behind his back, panicking. “N-No.” He watched as Karma’s eyes hardened as he approached him. Just as Nagisa pressed his eyes closed, he heard a drawer open, and the clank of a tray fall onto the floor. He opened his eyes slightly, just to check on the redhead. What he saw made his eyes snap open immediately.

 

“Lift up your sleeves right now, or I’ll do it,” Karma answered, his voice hollow.

Nagisa stared at the silver blade Karma held against his wrist. He pressed it against his skin, already turning his skin a light red. “K-Karma d-don’t.” He reached out to the redhead, getting off the medical bed. The moment he was within the taller male’s reach, Karma pulled him by the arm roughly, pressing him against the side of the bed. Nagisa’s eyes widened as Karma held his wrist tight, sliding his sleeve up his hand. He paused just before his wrist.

“Nagisa...I don’t pray. I have never prayed. But this past month, I’ve been praying every day, to never see what I think I’ll see after this.” He swallowed, holding the feeling in his chest.

Nagisa’s eyes were pressed shut, but he heard the redhead choke and felt a wet drop fall against his fingers.  _ Was Karma crying? _

 

Karma Akabane was crying. He was aware of it, and he wanted nothing more than to stop. The tears were blurring his vision, burning his cheeks as they slid down. He wasn’t sobbing, but he wasn’t smiling either. Nagisa stared at the redhead, the shock radiating through him. Literally. He was shaking. He gathered his strength and used his free hand to wipe the tears on the taller male’s face. 

 

Karma looked at him through his tears determinedly, slowly letting the bluenette’s sleeve ride up his wrist. Nagisa glanced away, shame overriding his emotions. Dozens of cuts were lined up against his pale skin. Red, pink, purple, brown, the colours painted against his skin. Some of them looked like they had been done the night before. Karma leaned against the bluenette’s shoulder, despite their significant height difference. He reached for Nagisa’s other hand slowly, only for Nagisa to look at Karma pleadingly. They didn’t speak to have to know what the other was thinking.

 

“Is that all of it?” Karma asked quietly, not releasing the bluenette’s hands from his grip.

Nagisa shook his head glancing down. Karma followed his gaze down to his thighs. Karma sighed, pulling the bluenette into his embrace and the smaller male relaxed. 

“Are you going to tell me why you did all this? Because I will beat the  _ shit _ out of you if you tell me you did this because your soulmate doesn’t like you back.”

 

Nagisa swallowed, feeling his chest constrict and tears forming in his eyes. What would happen after this? If he told Karma everything...their relationship would be ruined. Karma would look at him in disgust. And he couldn’t bear that. Before he realised it, the tears that were forming in his eyes streamed down his face, wetting his cheeks.  _ He sure was crying a lot these days. _

 

“My soulmate isn’t the person I have feelings for.” Nagisa whispered, halting his crying.

Karma looked at him. “So what you told me in the cafe that day was just a lie?”

“Half of it is true.” Nagisa whispered quietly, clinging on to Karma’s shirt.

“You have feelings for someone else?” Karma asked, a sick feeling growing in his stomach.  _ This was not how he expected this day to go when he woke up this morning.  _ Karma moved himself back slightly, leaning himself away from the bluenette to look at his face. He watched as the smaller male nodded tentatively.

 

Karma’s could hear his own heart pounding in his ears. It was deafening. He knew the bluenette didn’t like him...why was he clinging on to every strand of hope being thrown at him?

“B-But...” Nagisa continued. “This isn’t just because of them...” Nagisa answered, running his fingers over his wrist, wincing at the burning pain of the fresh cuts.

 

Karma sat on the bed, signalling for the smaller male to sit down next to him. Whether the bluenette liked him or not, he’d be there for him. 

  
  


Koro-sensei stood outside the door, debating whether or not to put them both out of their misery. He was well aware now that Karma and Nagisa were soulmates, but it wasn’t something he should get involved in. He didn’t want to mess with the soulbond of the two, but he didn’t want them in such misery. He had guessed as much that Nagisa was hurting himself, but he was sure Karma had already caught onto that, even if he denied it to himself. But Karma wasn’t okay either. The redhead had been distracted, in a state of depression even if he didn’t know it. Their classmates had noticed, but thanks to Karma’s warnings, they stayed away from the topic. He listened in on the conversation for a moment before leaving. They deserved their privacy. They needed it.

 

“N-Nobody cares about me Karma! You don’t understand...” 

Karma clasped the smaller male’s face to look at him. “Look at me Nagisa. I care about you. I’m right here.” He stared into the baby blue eyes in front of him, resisting the need to kiss his tears away. “I’m right here.”

Nagisa shook his head. “I can’t be a burden to you Karma.” He swallowed. “I never want to do that to  _ you _ especially.” He pulled away from Karma’s hands, avoiding the redhead’s gaze. “Nagisa, you are  _ anything _ but a burden.” Karma answered sternly.

“Why are you being so nice to me!? Y-You’re making this so h-hard for me Karma.”

“What am I making hard for you? I don’t understand Nagisa! Just-”

“You won’t choose me either!” Nagisa shouted, sprinting out the room before Karma had time to react.

 

Karma ran after the bluenette and with his athletic capability, made up for his slow reaction. He stopped Nagisa,  pulling him by the wrist to face him.

“Nagisa Shiota, I will  _ always  _ choose you.”

“No, you won’t!” Nagisa was sobbing now.

“And what makes you so f***ing sure of that?”

“You like Rio don’t you? So just leave me alone Karma...” Nagisa’s voice came out as barely a whisper, but Karma heard them loud and clear.

“How did you get to that conclusion?”Karma asked. “Is this about what happened at the restaurant that day? Because it was not what it looked like.”

“What else could have possibly happened for you to kiss Rio?” Nagisa asked quietly.

“Listen to me Nagisa,” Karma ordered, tilting the bluenette’s face toward him. “That day, Rio confessed to me. She kissed me  _ without _ my consent. The only reason I went with her was because she said she had something important to tell me.”

Nagisa made a motion as if he wanted to say something, but Karma pressed a finger against his lips. “Let me finish.” He breathed in. “Rio felt sorry for me because I was depressed. I don’t like her that way. After that, I took her home, and she tripped on some rocks, so I carried her home. That’s it.”

Nagisa looked at Karma like he was crazy. “But you said you liked someone...”

Karma rolled his eyes in agony. “Yeah.” He curled his hand into a fist and gently hit the top of Nagisa’s head. “It’s you, idiot.”

 

Nagisa stared at Karma, forgetting the fact that tears were still running down his face. Karma sighed, wiping the tears away from Nagisa’s eyes. “It’s okay if you don’t feel the same way, I understand. But I just don’t want to see you like this.” The redhead, ran his fingers through his hair frustrated that it was suddenly so hard for him to say what he had been saying in his head every day for the past month. He glanced at the bluenette midthought, confused at his silence. “Nagisa?”

 

Karma inhaled sharply as he felt the bluenette press himself against his chest, hugging him tightly. Karma smiled, wrapping his arms around the bluenette in return. 

“Why didn’t you tell me before?” Nagisa mumbled into his shirt.

“Ehh...I thought you’d find it weird.” Karma paused, a moment of realization passing him. “Wait....you still haven’t given me a response.” He felt Nagisa stiffen, and slowly nod. But Karma being Karma, of course, while blissfully elated that the smaller male felt the same way,  _ had _ to tease him. “What was that?” The redhead repeated. He felt the smaller male pull away from his embrace in frustration. He chuckled. “I just want to hear it from your lips.” He looked at Nagisa’s face, seeing a pout pass by.   _ Oh boy, I missed making fun of him. That cute pout, the way his eyebrows crease together in frustration and-  _

 

Karma was interrupted from his thoughts when Nagisa pulled him down by the tie, and kissed him. Hard. It took Karma a few moments before it registered in his mind what Nagisa was doing. He grinned into the kiss, pulling the bluenette closer.

 

The whole class watched them smiling through the window. They had watched the two slowly spiral into depression and were getting worried about the icon duo of 3-E. _ But that seemed okay now.  _ “How about we give them some privacy?” Kayano suggested.

 

Karma whistled, trying to lift the mood. “Bitch-sensei’s training must’ve really paid off for you to kiss me like that.” Karma chuckled as Nagisa’s already pink flushed face went darker.

“You’re the one who told you wanted to hear it from my lips!” The bluenette exclaimed.

“Yeah...where else does your voice come out of...?” 

Nagisa didn’t have to listen to hear the smirk in his voice. “S-Shut up...”

  
  


“So what’re we gonna do about our soulmates?” Karma asked, playing with the bluenette’s hair.

“I don’t know...maybe we should tell them everything.” Nagisa suggested, leaning in to the redhead.

Karma paused. “As in meet them?.... Have you met your soulmate Nagisa?” Karma raised an eyebrow in question.

“Uh...no...I wasn’t exactly in an ideal state to meet anyone.” Nagisa murmured under his breath.  Karma nodded his head understandingly. 

“It’s alright Nagisa...how about you and I arrange a meeting with them. We’ll tell them, and then we’ll live happily ever after alright?” He grinned.

“But what about the withdrawals?” Nagisa asked, touching the band on his upper arm concerned.

Karma hugged him.“I’ll figure something out Nagisa, if it’s the last thing I’ll do.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yayyayayy Everyone's happy againnnnn! <3 Idk whether I should end this soon or add more to the plot I have in mind...


	5. All My Love

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Our Strawberry realises just how oblivious he's been.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> FRICK THAT WAS A LONG HIATUS. But it's here anyway~ XD

**Strawberry:** Blueberry? Please answer me...I need to tell you something important.

**Blueberry:** Me too.

**Strawberry** : Omg~ you answered~

**Strawberry:** Wait...what do u need to tell me?

**Blueberry:** Can we meet?

**Strawberry** : o.O for realz?

**Blueberry:** I don’t think it’s appropriate for me to tell you this over text.

**Strawberry:** Should I be scared?

**Blueberry** : It’s for the best.

**Strawberry:** I’ve got something to tell u too.

**Blueberry:** What is it?

**Strawberry:** I’ll tell u when I see u

**Blueberry** : Are you free today?

**Strawberry** : Wow. That was quick. Yea, at 3?

**Blueberry:** How about we meet at the cafe opposite Kunugigaoka high school?

**Strawberry:** That’s strangely convenient...do u attend school there?

**Blueberry:** Sort of?

**Strawberry:** Omg what if I already know u? lol.

**Blueberry:** You probably don’t.

**Strawberry:** Alright Alright~ I’ll start heading there

**Strawberry:** Cya~

**Blueberry:** See ya

  
  


***

Karma pulled up his sleeve, his mind conflicted at the once again blue soul-band that wrapped around his upper arm. It had regained colour the day before, the day Nagisa had finally let him in. Honestly, he kind of wanted his bond to stay dead. There were no withdrawals when the bond was dead, and he could be with Nagisa, just like he’s always wanted to. The bell at the entrance of the cafe rang, and a familiar bluenette walked through, shuffling slowly. Karma raised an eyebrow. What was Nagisa doing here?

“Yo, Nagi-” Karma paused.  _ He was in this cafe...at this time...What if...? _

Nagisa heard Karma and turned around to see the redhead’s eye wide open. He was frozen, staring at Nagisa.

 

“Karma? Are you okay? What are you doing here?” Nagisa had about a split second before Karma strided over and tugged his arm roughly, sliding the sleeves of his shirt upward. Nagisa flinched, pulling away. “Karma? What are you doing??” His scars still weren’t fully healed, so pulling up his sleeves in public... wouldn't exactly be the best idea.

“Nagisa, let me look at your soul-band.” Karma voice pleaded urgently. His heart was pounding so loud he could hear it drumming in his cranium.

“N-Not here Karma...” Nagisa muttered softly, slightly confused at the redhead’s behaviour.

Determination coursed through Karma’s eyes. He interlocked their fingers and pulled the bluenette out of the cafe, flicking the money for the bill on the table.

 

“Karma!? What are you doing?” Nagisa asked as he was being dragged by the redhead. He got no answer in reply except for the exceedingly strong grip the redhead had on him. He planted his foot on the ground, halting his footsteps. “Karma, I agreed to meet my soulmate there, I can’t just leave...” Nagisa trailed off when Karma turned back to face him. His eyes were glistening in the light, his lashes brimming with tears. “He’s already here.”

 

Karma unlocked his apartment door, pulling the bluenette in by the hand. As soon as the door was closed, Nagisa felt himself being pressed against the wall, with Karma leaning his head on his shoulder.“Karma...what’s wrong?” He caressed Karma’s face, feeling the redhead relax.

“It was so obvious...” He muttered under his breath.

“What was so obvious?” Nagisa asked, trying to look at Karma.

Karma lifted his head, and walked away, pulling away from the bluenette’s touch. “God if this works I’m gonna kill myself for being so oblivious.” He walked into his room, closing the door and leaving a very confused Nagisa outside. Nagisa had no idea what was transpiring before him. Karma said that his soulmate was already there at the cafe, but he hadn’t even contacted Nagisa, so that was weird. Perhaps Karma had sent him away? Regardless, that didn’t explain why Karma was acting so weird right now. “Karma?” He called out. There was a moment of pause before he felt his lower arm tingle. Curious, he pulled up his sleeves himself, his heart dropping as he read the words that were now scribbled there.

_ “Look Up.” _

 

Nagisa raised his head slowly, his breath hitching in his throat as he saw Karma standing there, sleeves rolled up, and marker in hand.

 

Nagisa felt the strength leave his legs as they buckled beneath him. Karma reached forward, catching the bluenette a second too late, sending them both down onto the carpeted floor. Nagisa immediately scrambled on top of the redhead, tears dripping from his eyes, falling onto Karma’s cheeks. “Really?” Nagisa cried softly. “You promise?”

Karma reached up to the bluenette’s face and wiped his tears. “You just saw for yourself didn’t you?”

Nagisa sniffled. “When did you find out?”

Karma groaned. “The moment I saw you in the cafe. “ He exhaled. “I have no idea how I didn’t notice it sooner.”

Nagisa smiled wholeheartedly. “It’s okay, at least we know now.”

Karma puffed his upper lip, folding his arms beneath the bluenette. “It’s not okay at all.”

Nagisa raised an eyebrow confused,“Why not?”

Karma paused, cupping his hands behind the bluenette’s neck, pulling him down.“I would’ve been able to do this a lot sooner.”

 

The kiss obliterated every rational thought Nagisa had in his head. For the first time in a long time, his worries left him. He was happy, he was so happy. He could feel the relief Karma felt as the redhead relaxed beneath him. It was as if they were releasing all the pent-up frustration over the months they had been kept apart. Nagisa was the first to pull away, lying down next to Karma, his cheeks dusted with a pink blush.

 

Karma turned on his side to face the smaller male. “Stay over today yeah?”

Nagisa nodded, burying his face into Karma’s chest. “I need to tell my mom though.”

Karma ruffled his hair, kissing the top of his head. “I’ll follow you home later.”

 

“Karma! What a surprise!” Nagisa’s mother exclaimed upon sight of the redhead with her ‘daughter’.

“Pardon my intrusion, Mrs Shiota.” Karma bowed, stepping into the apartment. Nagisa was immediately pulled aside, his mother grinning ear to ear.  “Did you get him away from that horrible Rio girl?”

Nagisa looked at Karma in his peripheral vision and faced his mother. “Mom, I wouldn’t have done that to them.”

“Nonsense! Then he’s here as your friend?” She asked sarcastically.

“Not exactly... Rio isn’t his soulmate mom.” Nagisa whispered, his frustration building.

“Okay, but he has a soulmate right? Who is it?” She pressed.

Just as Nagisa was about to reply, Karma slid an arm around his shoulder. “No one else other than Nagisa I’m afraid.” Karma grinned rather confidently.

Nagisa watched as his mother’s expression as she lit up like a bulb. “Nagisa! I’m so proud of you! You finally have your first boyfriend.” She turned to Karma. “Take care of my daughter properly.” She smiled.

Karma grinned, interlocking his gaze and fingers with Nagisa. “Don’t worry, I’ll take care of your  _ son _ with my life.” He lifted the bluenette’s hand up, kissing it.

 

Nagisa gathered some clothes and stuffed them into a bag to take back to Karma’s place. He watched as his mother chatted with Karma animatedly in the living room. He couldn’t hear what they were saying, but he could tell Karma had completely won his mother over. Perhaps for the first time in his life, he was happy his mother wanted him to be a girl. That way she wouldn’t mind him having a boyfriend. He knew she looked down on homosexual people, but he was the exeption, since she was acting completely oblivious that she had a  _ son,  _ and not a _ daughter _ .

 

They headed over to Karma’s apartment as soon as Nagisa was done packing. They stumbled into the apartment, laughing at Karma’s imitation of his mother fawning over him.

“Has she ever tried to set you up with a boy?” Karma asked as he set down Nagisa’s bags.

“More times than I can count.” Nagisa murmured. “She even tried to set me up with you once.”

Karma laughed. “Seriously? Why didn’t you let her?” Nagisa elbowed him in the gut, earning a grunt from the taller male. “What? I’m gay as fuck for you.” 

Nagisa narrowed his eyes at the redhead. “And I was supposed to know that how?”

“That, I don’t know.” Karma laughed.

 

Karma glanced over at the bluenette laying next to him on the bed. It was weird. Silence was never something Karma had appreciated, but it was just...normal. He didn’t really feel obligated to say anything, but it wasn’t like it was a forced silence either. He heard the bluenette shuffle next to him. Nagisa turned to face the redhead, whispering quietly. “Karma, can you take off your shirt?”

Karma stared at him, choking on his own saliva. “What?”

Realising the possible interpretations of his question, Nagisa quickly sat up waiving his hands around. “N-Not that way! I just wanted to see your soul-band!”

Karma sniggered. “You don’t need to hide it if you want to see my abs that badly Nagi~.”

Nagisa could feel his cheeks flush. “W-What abs?”

Karma’s grin dropped as Nagisa’s insult hit him straight through the heart. “Gee...you really know how to wound me. Guess all those hours working out didn’t pay off.” He murmured dejectedly.

Nagisa bit his lip.  _ He was internally panicking.  _ The thought had completely slipped his mind that Karma had a more than firm build. Sure, it wasn’t a full-on six-pack, but it was enough to make his cheeks redden from the thought of laying his eyes on them.

 

He watched as Karma sat up, tugging his shirt over his head. He let out a quiet gasp as Karma’s upper body was revealed because  _ oh my god. _ Even in the dark, he could see Karma’s firm outline. He wasn’t ripped, which Nagisa was quite happy about, considering the fact that he liked nuzzling on the redhead’s body, which wouldn’t be quite as comfortable if he had the body of a muscle-man. He gulped when he realised the redhead had caught him staring. He inched backwards, trying to escape the feeling that was slowly overcoming him. He felt something stirr in the pit of his stomach. Something he wasn’t ready for.

“N-Nagisa...” The redhead called, trying to force the same feeling down his stomach. The bluenette willed his eyes away, steadying his breath against Karma’s lulling voice.

 

It seemed like hours before Nagisa could finally turn around, though it was a few minutes at most. Karma knew better than to break that silence because Nagisa wasn’t the only one struggling. He also had to give credit to their soul-bands for keeping the silence from turning a wrong direction. As the feeling in their stomachs grew, -a concoction of lust, love, and hesitation, so did the light their soul-bands emitted. The two stared at their soul-bands, before meekly turning to check on the other.

 

“It’s pretty,” Nagisa whispered as he touched the luminescent blue band on the redhead’s upper arm. Karma smiled softly watching the smaller male.  _ If only you knew how beautiful you were, he chuckled internally.   _ Unconsciously, Karma’s hands had reached out to cup the bluenette’s face, earning an expression of shock from the smaller male.

“Karma?”

 

Nagisa didn’t know how else to describe it. Complete, utter bliss? Karma leaned down, bringing their lips closer than they already were. Nagisa felt his body go rigid upon contact, the heat radiating on his lips as the redhead kissed him. It was so gentle he almost couldn’t recognize the person in front of him. He basked in the tenderness of the redhead he knew to be rough around the edges, and quickly relaxed. He felt the taller male hesitate upon not receiving a response from the bluenette, which quickly changed with a reassuring touch on the redhead’s neck. Karma pulled away, tugging on the bottom of the bluenette’s shirt, searching his azure eyes for permission. Nagisa paused, taking off his shirt off slowly.

 

It was inevitable, but he pushed for it anyway. The moment the red soul-band was revealed, Karma had the bluenette pinned down, gently, but with force at the same time. Nagisa made no sound, letting the redhead run his fingers on the red band circling his arm. He kept quiet as his fingers ran across the length of his arm, from his shoulder to his wrist. It wasn’t until he felt wet drops on his arm did he look up at the redhead concerned. “Karma...” Nagisa called quietly. He slipped out of the redhead’s grip, sitting up to caress the taller male’s cheeks.

“You went through all that pain for nothing.” Was the redhead’s reply. He ran his fingers on the bluenette’s left arm, feeling the bumps of the swollen cuts on his wrist. They were healing...slowly..but they were still healing. Karma felt his face turn to face the bluenette forcefully, following the smaller male’s hands.

“It’s not your fault,” Nagisa answered sternly.

“You did this to yourself because of me. How is it not my fault?” A second tear dripped down his cheek, falling onto the bluenette’s wrist.

“Karma Akabane. I said it wasn’t your fault and that is the end of it. I will not have you take the blame for a consequence that you could not control.”

“If I had just told you my name...”

Nagisa kissed the redhead’s leaking tear. “Karma, that could go both ways could it not?”

“I just...”

“I know Karma...I know.” He hushed the male, bringing both their bodies down to lie against each other.

 

They probably were asleep for a few hours before Karma’s phone began screaming (or ringing, if that’s what you want to call a noise that disrupts thpeacefulul sleep of both our cinnamon rolls.). He murmured an apology to the bluenette tangled in his arms, and reached over to the bedside table with the intent of smashing his phone against the wall when the flashing caller ID stopped him.

 

***

 

“Dad?” He answered, careful not to wake up Nagisa, who had somehow curled up on his lap.

“Karma, we need to talk.” His voice shot from the other side of the phone.

“As cold as ever, aren’t you?” Karma teased.

“You brought shame to our name Karma. You have the potential to be so much more, but instead, you chose  _ that _ life.” Karma could hear the bitterness even from 11 thousand kilometers away.

“Well, you have the potential to be a dad, but instead, you’d prefer to have a diamond encrusted stick shoved up your ass. Wouldn’t you?” He hissed.

Completely disregarding his point, his father continued.“Your mother and I are coming down to Japan next week. Please refrain from wasting our time, and hopefully you can be efficient for once.”

“Tch, you haven’t even told me what you’re coming down for.”

“You’ll find out.”

Ignoring the bitter aftertaste of his father’s words, he brushed it off. “Yeah yeah, send my regards to Mom.” He ended the call, sighing heavily.

 

Nagisa’s eyes fluttered open as soon as Karma ended the call. “What’s wrong?

“Nothing for you to worry about.” Karma murmured, running his fingers through the bluenette’s locks. “Go back to sleep, it’s only three in the morning.”

Nagisa gripped the redhead’s wrist tightly, looking him in the eye. “Don’t lie to me.”

“Nagi, I’m not lying. I’ll be fine.”

“You promise?” He asked, interlocking his finger’s with Karma’s.

“Yeah.” He squeezed the bluenette’s hand for reassurance.  _ They’d be okay. He’d make sure of it. _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know I have no excuses for being this late, but I was thinking of ending this series on this chapter, but I couldn't leave our precious berries alone, so I thought of more plot! Don't know if that's good or bad, but we'll just have to see, won't we?
> 
> PS: Also...I feel like doing a Karmagisa collab...Inbox me if you feel like you're up for it!


	6. Mommy Dearest

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Karma and Nagisa get a visit~

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I SWEAR MY WRITERS BLOCK HAS LASTED FOR SO LONG  
> BUT I WROTE ANYWAY  
> SO PARDON MY SHITTY WRITING

Nagisa woke up, feeling Karma’s arms wrapped around his waist increasingly tightly. He could hear Karma’s breathing as it spiked unevenly behind him. The redhead was probably having another one of his nightmares. Nagisa turned around to caress the redhead’s face as it relaxed in his touch. He fell asleep again not long after, only to be thrown into a dream. He was in an unfamiliar house. The walls painted beige, with a golden shimmer to it. Everything looked so...fancy, like something you’d see out of a fairytale. The windows were draped with lush red curtains, blocking all light from the outside. He saw a winding staircase and followed it. He didn’t really know what to do, but he walked around aimlessly until he saw a familiar redhead, eyes glued to the DS he was playing on. “Karma?” Nagisa called out. No answer. He stood next to the redhead, trying to tap him on the shoulder when he realised their apparent height difference. He bent down to look at the abnormally short male, only to see a childish (but still insanely cute) baby face instead of the devilishly firm outline of a face Karma usually had. _Was this the kid version of Karma?_ He laughed internally, noticing their similarities. The redhead seemed to ignore him and continued walking down the stairs, eyes still glued to his game. It looked like Nagisa couldn’t interact with anything since his hand passed through anything he tried to touch, almost like a ghost. The house had been abnormally silent, with no one there except for the redhead. But in a flash, he was in a room. He wasn’t alone anymore. Karma was seated on a chair, facing who Nagisa guessed was his mother and father.

 

“Karma, darling, you’re wasting your talent here!” Mrs Akabane dramatized.

“There’s no point talking to him like that Kiyomi. The brat won’t listen.” Karma’s father snatched the DS from the younger redhead’s grasp and smashed it against the floor. “You will stop wasting your life here. Sooner or later, I will send you to a prestigious school in the States or Europe. If you want to stay here now and make it harder on yourself later, so be it. But you will go when I tell you to.”

Karma rolled his eyes in response, picking up the broken pieces of his DS. “This is what you came home for? I haven’t seen you in almost eight months and you come home to smash my DS and threaten me to go to boarding school in a country I don’t even know the language of?” He glared at his parents in the eye. “Great parents I have. Why didn’t you just pay for an abortion? Then you wouldn’t be stuck with me.”

Nagisa choked at his words. Karma looked no older than ten. The fact that the redhead was talking in that manner...Nagisa wanted to hug him and just make him forget everything. But this was a dream...Nagisa guessed. He jolted awake suddenly, feeling a sting on his arm.

 

Nagisa glanced at his arm to see his red soul-band glowing. Karma’s was also giving off a faint blue light. The bluenette sat up, removing Karma’s arm around him slowly as to not rouse the redhead. It was fairly bright outside, most likely around eight in the morning. He felt his arm tingle again, and when he looked, the glow from his soul-band had faded. Almost simultaneously, Karma had woken up holding his head in his arms and groaning.

  
  


“Fuck” He muttered under his breath.

Nagisa sat on the bed next to him, rubbing circles on his back. “Bad dream?” He guessed.

“Well, not really bad, just a memory. It’s nothing important, just haven’t had that specific dream in a long time.”

Nagisa bit his lip. “Was it about your parents sending you to boarding school?” He whispered quietly.

Karma arched an eyebrow and stared at him. “So it was you.”

Nagisa raised an eyebrow in question. “What do you mean?”

“I could feel a reassuring presence there. That dream wasn’t how it actually turned out in real life. I was wondering why I was so calm there.”

Nagisa sighed, leaning on the redhead. “Karma...you don’t feel that way anymore...do you?”

Karma turned to face the bluenette putting an arm around him. “Are you referring to the abortion thing?” 

Nagisa nodded. 

“Well, I’m not gonna lie that was what I believed for the most of my life. But you’re a different story.” Karma grinned, kissing the bluenette on his cheek. “You make me want to go through that a million times if it means I’ll get to see you once.”

 

Nagisa was helping Karma make breakfast when the doorbell rang.  _ Odd _ . Karma thought. He was about to call for Nagisa to make sure their breakfast didn’t burn while he answered the door, but the bluenette was already opening the door. Just by the expression on Nagisa’s face, Karma could tell more or less who it was. _ Well not really, but who else would come visit him? _

 

“You said you were coming down next week Mom.” Karma murmured, taking her bags from her.

“No, your dad said that. I wanted to come and spend some time with you before you leave for America next month.” His mother exclaimed. 

 

The house went silent. Kiyomi stared at the two, confused at the faces of shock they were wearing. “Mom. I’m not going anywhere.” Karma stated, resuming moving his mother’s luggage. Nagisa’s knees buckled, almost falling to the floor until Karma steadied him from the back. Once his mother’s back was turned, the redhead pressed a gentle kiss against the bluenette’s neck and whispered. “Just stay in my room and put on some headphones for a bit okay? I’ll be there in a sec.” 

Nagisa looked at him with concern before nodding and walking to the room where they had spent the night.

 

Once Karma heard the ‘click’ of the door closing shut, he sat on his couch, watching as his mother looked around his apartment. “You really can live on your own huh...Looks like you didn’t need mommy with you at home all those years anyway.” She cooed, as if she genuinely wanted to spend all that time with her only son.

“Mom, I’m not leaving Japan,” Karma stated, watching his mother’s every step. Karma’s mother was infamous for her sweet reputation, but she had triggers nobody knew about. Triggers that would send her throwing knives around the house. And one of those triggers just so happened to be her son disobeying her, occasionally of course. If Karma was intimidated by his dad, he was scared shitless of his mom. His dad was more or less predictable, you could think logically to guess what he was about to do. But his mom? She was unpredictable, kind of like Nagisa, but in a bad way. Kiyomi wasn’t totally sane either, but his dad had kept her around because she never got triggered by him, and they never spent much time with their son anyway. Outsiders of his family would assume Karma was a momma’s boy, with the stark contrast of how differently he talked to his mom and dad, but the difference was  _ fear _ . Before Kiyomi had gone slightly crazy she had actually been a friend to Karma, she was actually his mother, that much he remembered. That also played in the reason why Karma still cared for his mother, but the things she could do...made him scared. Sure she could throw stuff at you, but the fear lay in what was in her head. The things she would say, or intend to do. That unpredictability unsettled him to no end. But he did love her, that much he could say. And he was willing to bet on his life she loved him too, if only a little.

 

He braced himself as she turned around painfully slowly, her dress swishing from the wind blowing from the open balcony.

“And how did you come to that conclusion Karma?” She asked, tilting her head innocently. 

“Mom, I-”

“If it’s about your cute little  _ boyfriend _ over there, that might be a problem.”

_There_ it was. Despite her tendencies to lose touch with reality, she was _abnormally_ perceptive. Well, he wasn’t expecting her to find out this quickly, but he’d have to improvise. From his information, his mom wasn’t homophobic, but his shit of a dad was. His mother approached him, her footsteps soft. She reached out to him, her hand lingering in front of him longer than it should. He wasn’t gonna lie, he expected a slap but kept his eyes open anyway, only for her to slide his sleeves up, revealing his soul-band. Karma stared at her in shock before rapidly sliding his sleeve back down, moving away from his mother.

 

“Karma!” She exclaimed, clasping her hands together in joy. “Is he your soulmate?”

This was  _ not _ the reaction the redhead was expecting. “Y-Yeah...”

“Well isn’t that great? No wonder you let him into your house. You were very always very conservative when it came to letting people into your space. Anyway, he seems like a delightful boy, welcoming me in so nicely when I was disrupting your time together. Where is he?”

Karma stared at her in shock. “You’re not mad?”

She laughed heartily. “Dearie, I could never get mad at you having a soulmate, girl or boy. Though it doesn’t change the fact that your father wants you to go to America.

“I’ll go get Nagisa then...” Karma replied, ignoring her last comment.

 

Nagisa heard who he assumed to be Karma knock on the door. He rushed to the door, opening it with so much force it nearly knocked the redhead off balance.

“Are you okay?” The bluenette pounced on him, hugging him tightly.

Karma pulled a half grin. “It’s my mom Nagisa, not some sort of monster.”

***

“So how is my son treating such a sweet thing like you?” She cooed to the bluenette.

Nagisa’s smiled piped up. “Karma’s been nothing short of the best boyfriend ever!”

The redhead bit the inside of his cheeks, trying to force down the blush he felt rising. That was the  _ first _ time Nagisa had directly called him his...boyfriend.

“My my, Karma darling, you’re turning rather red. Nagisa wouldn’t you be a dear and check his temperature? He might be running a fever.” His mother threw him a smirk, reminding him exactly where his mischievous genes came from. 

“I’m fine Nagisa, it’s alright,” Karma replied, leaning away. His watched his mother as she pouted, crossing her legs, disappointment ringing in the air.

Just as Karma thought he was safe, the bluenette came forward, pulling his head towards him. He felt Nagisa’s fingers as they held his face with care, and could feel his face flush fifty darker shades of red. By the time Nagisa had touched their foreheads together, Karma had seen the laughter on his mother’s face. She looked like she was having  _ so _ much fun seeing her  _ usually  _ composed and dominant son crumble in the presence of his soulmate. 

 

It was in that moment Karma knew he had to do it. How could he lose to his mother? He was unbeatable in mischievousness. And that is exactly why instead of letting his precious bluenette pull away after checking his temperature innocently, he pulled him in, kissing him rather passionately in front of his mother.

 

Nagisa blinked and blinked again. He didn’t remember initiating the kiss. And he wouldn’t, not in front of Karma’s mother in any case! He pulled away from Karma, his face flushing scarlet red. He bowed in apology to the redhead’s mother and scurried into the room, diving under the blankets.

 

Karma watched his mother laughed her heart out, something he hadn’t seen her do in a long time. He lay on the couch where Nagisa had left him, staring at his mother.

“You’ve really gone and done it this time Karma. You win.” She surrendered.

Karma rolled his eyes. “You started it. There’s no way I was going to lose to you.”

“Even at the price of your boyfriend?” She asked, a smirk gracing her features.

His eyes narrowed at the words, for once, glaring at his mother. He got up, walking straight to his room, not forgetting to leave one last comment, his back still facing her. “I’ll never put anyone over him.”

 

“Na-gi-sa~?” The redhead called, looking around his room, trying to find the smaller male. He heard a squeak and turned to his bed, staring at the messed up blankets. He chuckled, lifting the covers slowly to reveal the curled up bluenette. 

“Go away.” Nagisa murmured.

“Was it that embarrassing kissing me?” The redhead asked, sitting next to the bluenette.

“In front of your mom, yes!” He exclaimed burying his face further in the blankets.

It took only a moment of silence for Karma’s thoughts to drift. His father was expecting him to drop and leave  _ everything _ ,  _ just _ when he’d gotten it. He’d have to leave Nagisa, because there was no way Nagisa could go with him. Just the thought of that...Made him shiver. He let out a sigh, laying down on the bed.

 

Nagisa remained quiet when Karma didn’t respond. He only moved when he heard the redhead sigh heavily as he lay down. Nagisa uncurled himself, letting the blanket drop off him,  and rested his head against the taller male’s chest.

“Karma?” The redhead glanced down at him, looking him in the eye. He felt Karma’s hands as they ran through his hair, unclipping his tied up hair. 

“That dream you saw this morning...was real,” Karma admitted. “That deal I made with my father, is something I agreed to.”

 

Karma was evading eye contact with him. His hands were still running through Nagisa’s blue locks, but even though it was very subtle, Nagisa could feel his fingers trembling. Or maybe it was him trembling. Honestly, he couldn’t tell anymore. His vision was getting blurry as tears filled his eyes.

“Nagisa...” Karma called, sitting up to reassure the bluenette.

“So you’re going?” Nagisa asked, wiping the tears from his eyes and forcing his lips to remain in a straight line instead of turning downward like they so desperately wanted to.

“I’m not going to leave you Nagisa..”

Just as Nagisa was about to reply, a knock sounded on their door.

“Boys, I’m going out for a meeting alright? I’ll be back in a few hours. We’re going out for dinner, it’s my treat today.”

“Yeah,” Karma called out. 

 

After they heard their front door lock, the redhead turned to face the bluenette. “Listen to me.” He sat up, caressing the smaller male’s soft cheeks. “I won’t leave you. And even if I do, you know I’ll always come back for you.” He looked into the watery azure eyes gazing at him, reflecting his own determined expression.  Nagisa nodded, reaching to touch his hands as they held his cheeks.

 

***

 

Karma looked downward at his chest, checking if the bluenette was asleep. “Nagisa?” he called quietly. He felt movement and Nagisa rolled off him, humming in response.

Karma sat up, stretching his shoulders. “Shall we get lunch? We never did get around to having breakfast.” The bluenette thought for a moment before plopping back down onto his lap.

“Don’t wanna get off you.”

Karma chuckled, reaching to tickle the smaller male’s sides. “ That won’t be a problem.”

Nagisa gasped for air as the redhead stopped tickling him, only to lift him like they did in the movies....scooping him up from the bed and carrying him out the door.

***

“It’s 500% rigged!!” Nagisa exclaimed, banging his head against the claw machine in desperation.

“Indeed it is.” Karma chuckled, pulling out a token from his pocket and slipping it into the machine. “That’s why you have to rig it yourself.” He fiddled with the joystick for a minute, before tapping the button, leaving Nagisa amazed as the claw carried the doll and dropped it into the hole.

“What the heck!? I’ve been trying it for at least half an hour!!” Nagisa complained, simultaneously annoyed and amazed at the same time. “And I even used the method you taught me before!”

“Nagi, look at this claw machine. It has walls around the hole. It isn’t going to be easy to push the dolls to the end.”

“But you still-!”

“Nagi, wait. C’mere.” He gestured, putting Nagisa in between him and the machine. “What do you see in there?”

“Dolls?” Nagisa answered perplexedly.

“Yes, I’m sure you can see that.” He laughed. “Look closer.”

Nagisa peered in, huffing. “They’re just dolls Karma-” He paused when he saw a white string attached to the doll’s neck. “They... still have their tags?”

“Bingo.” The redhead whispered in his ear.

Nagisa turned around to face him. “You aimed for the tag instead of the doll?”

“You saw for yourself, didn’t you? Karma asked, kissing his forehead. “Now try for yourself.”

 

“I still couldn’t do it without your help.” The bluenette mumbled dejectedly.

Karma laughed. “I’ve had a lot of experience practicing. It isn’t easy aiming for the tag.”

Nagisa sighed.“Well, at least we got two of the limited edition Sonic Ninja 4 Dolls!”

Karma laughed. “You know, sometimes you’re way too easy to please.”

The bluenette stuck a tongue out at him. “We should head home. Your mom’s taking you out for dinner right?”

“Yes,  _ we  _ should head home because my Mom is taking  _ us _ out for dinner.” The redhead corrected.

“Karma, I think your mom wants to spend some time with  _ you _ .” Nagisa replied, emphasising on the ‘you’.

“And I want to spend some time with  _ you _ .”

Nagisa looked at the redhead disconcertingly. “Really? You’re playing that card?”

“So what if I am?” Karma laughed, slinging an arm around the smaller male. “Come on, let’s go.”

 

“Well boys, don’t you clean up nicely!” Kiyomi exclaimed upon seeing both males  _ fully _ dressed in proper attire. Nagisa choked, leaving Karma laughing.

“Well you did come here in the morning, what did you expect?” The redhead replied, slinging an arm over the bluenette. The sound of a ping echoed from his mother’s bag, and he watched as she glanced at her phone, frowning at the sight. Redirecting his gaze to his mother’s eyes, he arched an eyebrow. “What’s wrong?”

Kiyomi looked at Karma knowingly before quickly shifting her expression into her dazzling smile. “Someone’s decided to arrive earlier than expected.”

 

“You’re insane if you’re thinking about inviting him for dinner.” Karma hissed.

Kiyomi’s expression reduced to neutrality. “Karma dear, I think you should know very well how I am. Now, be a good boy and listen. Unless you want mommy to go ‘insane’ as you claimed.”

Karma bit the inside of his cheek. “Mom, you know dad won’t approve of Nagisa.”

“Indeed he won’t. Which is exactly why you need to give him a reason to approve of him,” she replied calmly.

“For all I know, Dad would hire a fucking hitman to kill Nagisa. I’m not going to risk-”

Nagisa pulled Karma’s arm firmly, garnering his attention. “It’s okay Karma. I’ll be fine.”

“You don’t understand! My dad-”

“I don’t need to understand Karma. Koro-sensei has taught us everything we need to know.”

Frown still imprinted on his face, Karma turned to his mother. “If we go, and he touches a single hair on Nagisa’s head, you can forget letting me inherit the company in the future. I will announce to the whole fucking world that we are fully emancipated, and you can say goodbye to the only son you have.”

 

Karma was pushing it. He couldn’t talk to his mother like this. He really shouldn’t. But she didn’t seem angry, she looked...amused?  _ Oh fucking hell. _ “What?”

“Karma darling, I think this is the first time you’ve snapped at me.” She lifted a finger to her chin. “And you’re fighting for someone else.” She laughed. “It’s endless surprises with you isn’t it?”

Karma murmured something inaudible, returning his attention to the bluenette. “Sorry you got caught up in all of this.” He whispered sheepishly. Nagisa looked at him innocently with his baby blue eyes that made Karma’s internal keyboard malfunction like asdfghjklkwgrfuwiejlnfjkwlk.

“I don’t mind anything as long as you don’t leave me-”

Karma clasped a hand over the bluenette’s mouth, muffling his voice. “Don’t say things like that in front of my mother if you don’t want me to kiss you.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Guys. Let's hit 200 Kudos with this update.  
> Thanks for reading~~

**Author's Note:**

> *SQUEALS*


End file.
